Three and One
by N16
Summary: In the Marauders' third year at Hogwarts, James Potter begins to see just how unfair life really can be, and helplessly realizes that he can do absolutely nothing about it.  Well, almost nothing...
1. Train Ride

James Potter had to assure his mother several times that he had not forgotten to pack his textbooks, his potions supplies, his socks or his underwear. She had only given up nagging him when Sirius had shown up and she could nag him instead.

"You have a hole in your robes!" she was exclaiming now, examining the spot on Sirius's elbow where the cloth had worn through. "Here, hold still. I'll fix it."

James rolled his eyes at his friend while his mother fretted, and saw his dad grin at Sirius, nodding his head towards his wife in a fond, but exasperated way. Sirius smiled back sheepishly and looked away. James had never seen Sirius behave with anyone else the way he always behaved with his family. He was quiet, almost shy around James's parents.

"Mum, we've got to go or we'll miss the train," he said, picking up his trunk.

"Right," she said, her eyes darting to the scarlet train. "Here, I packed you some treats for the ride," she said and she held out two bags, one for each of them. He glanced worriedly at Sirius out of the corner of his eye. He had seen firsthand last year how sensitive Sirius could be when he felt he was being patronized (his hand automatically rubbed his nose at the memory), and he hoped that his friend would see his mother's gesture as kindness and not pity. To his relief, Sirius said thank you and looked pleased as he accepted his bag.

They found Peter sitting in a compartment midway down, waving to his parents out the window.

"Good summer?" James asked as they entered, and Peter turned to smile at them.

"Yeah, it was great!" he said. "We went to France. How about you?"

"It was good," James said quickly so that Sirius wouldn't have to answer. "Want to see what I got?"

"What you got?" Sirius asked with surprise, and James grinned.

"I call her Nelly," he said, pulling the toad out of his pocket. It stared at Peter and Sirius from the palm of his hand and let out a single croak. "We got her when I was getting my books at Diagon Alley."

"You got a toad?" a voice said in surprise from the doorway, and they turned to see Remus.

"Yeah," James said, stroking Nelly's head fondly. "She's sweet, isn't she?"

"She's a toad," Peter said, looking at James as though he were mad. James just smiled and put Nelly back in his pocket. He liked the toad very much. He knew that she wasn't the most exciting of pets, but he was very fond of her.

"I just saw Frank," Remus said as he sat down. "He made Head Boy."

"Really?" Peter said, sounding impressed, but James laughed.

"Poor guy," he said, shaking his head with pity.

"Actually, I think it's supposed to be considered an honor." He could hear the mild amusement in Remus's voice.

"All that extra work, and never allowed to have any fun?" James pretended to shudder. "Sounds awful to me."

"What do _you_ want?" James jumped at Sirius's harsh voice, and followed his gaze to the door. A small boy with black hair was watching them calmly. His face, which looked like a distorted version of Sirius's, looked strangely blank.

"Everywhere else is full," he said blandly, watching Sirius.

"The entire rest of the train is full?" Sirius said scornfully. The boy didn't answer. "Go find somewhere else to sit, Regulus. We're full too." He stood and shut the door. The two brothers faced each other through the glass for a moment, then Regulus turned and walked away down the corridor.

"We could have made room for him," Remus said in surprise.

"Why did he want to sit with us anyway?" Sirius scowled.

"He's a first year," Remus said reasonably. "He doesn't know anyone else."

"He'd better not follow me around all year," Sirius grumbled. "I'll hex him to pieces."

James, Remus and Peter all glanced at each other, and Remus reached up and scratched his nose uncomfortably. As he did so, the others all got a good glimpse of the long, nasty cut that ran along his forearm. James saw Sirius wince and Peter look away. He had got used to seeing Remus's cuts and bruises, but a summer apart had made him forget just how awful they really looked, and he felt that familiar rush of helplessness.

Remus followed their gazes and blushed, folding his arms and blocking the cut from sight.

"So who do you suppose Dumbledore got to replace Dearborn?" Remus said, and his efforts to distract them worked. The tension disappeared, they forgot about Sirius's brother and Remus's wounds, and they spent the next several minutes brainstorming possibilities. Sirius hoped that it might be an Auror ("No way," James said dismissively), and Remus looked excited at the prospect of a scholarly author ("I certainly hope not," Peter said, looking horrified).

An hour or so into the ride, the door opened again. This time it was a Ravenclaw girl whose name James didn't know, and their fellow Gryffindor, Lily Evans. Evans looked very uncomfortable.

"Hey Evans," Remus said, and she smiled embarrassedly at him.

"Hey," she said. "Everyone, you know Enid Greengrass, right?"

"Hi," Enid said, giggling shyly. James followed her gaze to Sirius and rolled his eyes in understanding.

"Hi," everyone said back. A very awkward silence fell over the compartment. Enid was trying to look casual, but kept looking at Sirius with undisguised hope. Sirius was smiling back tentatively, though looking slightly confused. Peter was sitting wide-eyed, glancing between James and Remus, looking for some hint of what to do. Remus and Evans were exchanging miserably exasperated looks, and James was trying not to snicker as he watched it all.

"So," Remus said finally with faked cheerfulness. "How was your summer, Evans?"

"Good!" she said, looking relieved that he had broken the silence. "How was yours?"

"It was good," he replied.

"Well, see you around!" she said before the silence could resume. She grabbed Enid's arm and dragged her out of the compartment. James, Remus and Peter breathed a collective sigh of relief as the door shut. Only Sirius continued to stare at the door, looking slightly dazed. James recognized that look.

"She was kind of cute."

James almost choked, failing to hold in a laugh as he saw Remus mouthing the words at the same moment Sirius said them.

"What?" Sirius asked, startled back into reality.

"Nothing," James said, shaking his head.

"Well she _was_!" Sirius insisted defensively.

"She was lovely," Remus agreed. "Excellent conversation skills."

The three boys snickered. Sirius looked extremely put out.

They didn't have any more visitors until early that afternoon when Frank Longbottom poked his head in to say hello as he patrolled the corridors.

"Congratulations," Remus said, nodding to the "Head Boy" badge on his chest. Frank was clearly trying not to look too pleased with himself.

"Thanks," he said proudly. Glancing around to make sure no one was listening, he confided, "I actually thought Everett would get it. I was really surprised."

Sirius snorted. "Everett Lynch is a Quidditch player. He's not smart enough to be Head Boy."

"Hey!" James exclaimed, insulted, and Sirius looked at him guiltily.

"Sorry, mate," he said quickly.

"You going to try out again this year?" Frank asked.

"Colin McLaggen left, so there's an opening," Remus added.

"McLaggen played Beater," James said, rolling his eyes at Remus's ignorance.

"Well, yes," Remus said. "But Michael Kirke wants to play Beater more than he wants to play Keeper, and Eleanor Peakes wants to play Keeper more than she wants to play Chaser, so it _could_ end up that there's an opening for a Chaser, couldn't it?"

James made a mental note to never think of Remus as ignorant again.

He felt slightly sick at the thought of try-outs. He remembered how wretched he had felt when he had failed to make the team the year before. He did not relish the idea of feeling like that again. On the other hand, he couldn't resist the possibility of playing for the house team. "Yeah, I'll try out," he said, trying to keep his voice even and casual. From in his pocket, Nelly croaked encouragingly.

----------

_Author's Note: _

_"Tell yeh what, I'll get yer animal. Not a toad, toads went outta fashion years ago, yeh'd be laughed at..." –Hagrid_

_I figure that means toads had to be _in_ fashion at one point, right:)_

_So I've gotten year three underway! I'm back at work _and_ school is starting again. My goal from here on out, pathetic as it is, is to get one chapter up a week. Maybe two, depending on homework. I'm hoping I'll get some writing time each weekend. I'm back to doing shorter chapters, also due to time constraints. _

_As always, I love reviews._


	2. The Liar

"That wasn't so bad!" Remus said cheerfully as they walked into the dormitory. He and James had just finished their first Ancient Runes class. "I found it quite interesting, actually."

"Yes, it was riveting," James said distractedly. His mind was on other things, as it had been all day. Things like the fact that his best friend seemed to be avoiding him.

"Moony?" he asked thoughtfully. Remus was observant and smart, and he might have caught onto something that James had missed.

"Yeah?"

"Do you think Sirius has been acting a bit strange?"

"No," he answered, sounding casually surprised at the question, but he answered a little bit too quickly. He turned his back on James to rummage through his trunk. "So what do you suppose is for dinner?" he asked, he voice innocently casual.

James stared at him, letting out a half-snort, half-chuckle. "Wow," he said slowly, almost as though talking to himself. "When did that happen?"

Remus looked up at him, and James saw a flicker of discomfort in the yellowish eyes that confirmed his suspicions.

"When did what happen?" Remus asked bemusedly.

"When did you become a competent liar?" James raised an eyebrow at him. Remus flushed and looked down, but he didn't bother denying the accusation. "I mean, you used to be an absolutely awful liar, but that was almost convincing," he continued.

Remus turned back to his trunk, continuing to dig for some unspecified item.

"So," James said. He walked over to Remus's bed and sat on the foot of it so that they were facing one another once again. "Remus, my deceitful little friend..." Remus went from pink to red. "What's going on with Sirius?"

"Nothing," Remus insisted, determinedly not looking at James.

James sighed. "I said you were competent, not good," he said, exasperated. He learned forward and nudged Remus out of the way so he could push the lid of the trunk closed, trying to force Remus to pay attention to him. Instead, Remus sat on the floor, chewing his lip nervously and glancing frantically around the room.

"You can tell me, or I can sit on you and force it out of you," James said impatiently.

"There's nothing to tell." He sounded meek and insincere, but James had to give him credit for perseverance.

"You have until the count of three," James said, smirking a bit at the look of panic on his friend's face. "One. Two."

Instead of saying three, he leapt off the bed and tackled Remus, who fell backwards with a slightly surprised, "Oomph!"

For such a scrawny kid, he put up a good fight. James was a bit taken aback, in fact. Still, James outweighed him by quite a bit, and after a few minutes of scuffling, he had accomplished his goal and was sitting directly on Remus's chest.

"Is this really necessary?" Remus grunted.

"Not at all," James said cheerfully, "but you refused to be reasonable. Nice job, by the way. You were a lot harder to take down than I expected."

"I'm full of surprises," Remus said, the dryness in his voice apparent even through the croakiness.

"_Now_," James said firmly. "What's going on with Sirius?"

He looked down at his friend and waited patiently. He could see Remus struggling, trying to decide whether to keep Sirius's secret or to secure his own freedom.

"Come on, Moony. This isn't hard." He rolled his eyes. "Just tell me why he's mad at me."

"He's not mad at you," Remus said immediately, and James could tell that he was telling the truth. "He doesn't really make it a secret when he's angry, does he?" That was true. Sirius didn't generally have trouble verbalizing his displeasure.

"Then what's his problem?"

Remus sighed and gave in. "He's worried about Quidditch try-outs tomorrow.

James frowned in confusion. "It's nice of him to be concerned," he said slowly, "but that doesn't explain why he's avoiding me."

"What in the name of Merlin...?" a very baffled voice said from the doorway. They turned to see Peter staring at them in confusion. "James?"

"Hey Peter," James said, standing up. He heard Remus let out a small, relieved groan. "We were just getting ready to head to dinner." He reached down to help Remus up, and his friend accepted the hand looking a bit wary. "This isn't over," James said quietly, smiling at him playfully. He wanted Remus to know that he wasn't angry at him, but he also wanted to make sure that he knew that James fully intended to get answers from him.

"I hate you," Remus muttered back.

----------

After dinner, James told Sirius and Peter that he and Remus needed to grab a book from the library for their Ancient Runes homework. Remus winced, but followed him willingly out of the Great Hall.

"Please don't sit on me again," he said wearily as they wandered down the corridor.

James grinned at him briefly, but quickly turned serious. He wanted answers. "I believe," he said, "that before we were interrupted, you were about to tell me why Sirius cares so much about Quidditch try-outs.

"You know, James," Remus said, sounding slightly annoyed, "you don't actually need to know this information. You should just let it go."

"My best friend is avoiding me," James said, rolling his eyes. "Of course I need to know."

"Fine," Remus said resignedly. He stopped and turned to face James. "Sirius is nervous because last year before try-outs you were so Quidditch-obsessed that you didn't have time for us. You completely ignored us, in fact. He was relieved when you didn't make the team, and then he felt guilty for being relieved. Now it's happening all over again. He _wants _to be supportive because he wants to be a good friend. He's avoiding you because he's afraid he's not faking it well enough." Remus glared at James briefly before he began walking again. "Happy now?"

James followed him, completely surprised. "I didn't completely ignore you," he protested slowly, but even as he said it, he knew Remus was right.

"Don't tell Sirius I said any of that to you, okay?" Remus asked, glancing at James out of the corner of his eye. It had almost sounded like a plea.

"I'll keep my mouth shut," James said absently, still thinking about what he had just heard.

----------

"Good luck," Sirius said as James stood up from the table, his breakfast bouncing around nervously in his stomach.

"Thanks," James said, studying Sirius's face closely. He _did_ look a little stiff, his smile a little forced. He glanced at Remus, who was giving him a clear "_See what I mean?"_ look.

"You'll do great," Peter said confidently, and James tried to smile at him. He felt like he might throw up.

His nerves were all for nothing, though. Peter was right. He _did_ do great, and by the end of that afternoon, James had achieved the one thing he had truly wanted ever since he had come to Hogwarts. He was on the Gryffindor Quidditch team.

They had a small, private party that night to celebrate James's success. It had actually been Sirius's idea, though he had seemed just a little bit too enthusiastic when he had suggested it. They had gone on their first illicit outing of the year, raiding Honeydukes and grabbing some food from the kitchens on the way back. Now the four of them lounged around on the floor of the dormitory, snacking and laughing.

"Hand me some of those Fizzing Whizbees," Sirius demanded, holding out his hand. He was sitting on the floor, using the food and candy wrappers to construct an obstacle course for Nelly. Nelly seemed completely uninterested, but that hadn't deterred Sirius. James had a hunch that Sirius was trying to distract himself so he wouldn't have to think about _why_ they were having the party.

As he handed him a bunch of Fizzing Whizbees, he felt a tiny bit guilty. Remus had told the truth the day before. James _had_ abandoned his friends for Quidditch last year. As they sat around in the dormitory that night, he made himself a promise that he would not do it again. His friends needed him.

"Finished!' Sirius exclaimed triumphantly. "Now, where is that damn toad?"


	3. The Mistake

Almost as soon as James promised himself that he would not allow Quidditch to interfere with his determination to be a good friend, he was forced to break that promise.

"I'm sorry," he said for the tenth time at dinner that night. Remus rolled his eyes.

"James, it's not big deal," he repeated. "I'm not a little kid. I don't need a babysitter."

"Besides," Sirius added, "we'll take care of him."

"I know," James said heavily, pushing his food around on his plate. "But we _always_ walk with him to the hospital wing. All of us."

"It's _really_ not a big deal," Remus insisted.

"I just don't want-" James began, but he stopped halfway through. He had started to say, "I don't want to ignore you again," but he couldn't say it without revealing what Remus had told him.

"You're not," Remus said quietly enough that Sirius and Peter couldn't hear. "Now go to Quidditch practice," he continued in a louder voice. "You're going to be late."

----------

James knew that it was a very small thing, not walking with Remus to the hospital wing. He knew it was silly to worry about it. Still, he felt guilty. As he walked back to the castle that night, the sun had already set and the full moon was already out. He stopped for a moment and listened and sure enough, he could hear Remus's howls.

Like any day following the full moon, James took careful notes in class and tried to shoot down any questions about Remus's absence. It was a bit stranger than usual in Ancient Runes because he didn't even have Peter and Sirius there. It felt odd to be the only Gryffindor in the room. Well, the only _boy_ Gryffindor.

"Where's Remus?" Lily Evans asked when James entered the room alone. The rest of the girls at her table were busy talking and giggling.

"He had to go home," James said easily. "Something about his mum being sick."

"You want to sit with us?" Florence Flume asked, looking up at him and gesturing to the last empty seat at the table. James hesitated for a moment.

"Hey James!" John Viridian, a Ravenclaw boy, was waving him over. James paused. On one hand, he could go sit with the Ravenclaws, but then he would have to tell _them_ why Remus wasn't there. It was best to avoid questions. On the other hand, Florence Flume was Sirius's ex-girlfriend, and James was fairly certain that she still liked him. It was _definitely_ best to avoid those kinds of questions. With a quick wave at the girls, he rushed over to sit with John. Fortunately, Ancient Runes was a class that required students to pay attention and didn't allow much time for talking. James focused on taking detailed notes, doing his best to write neatly so Remus would be able to read it.

"Who has notes duty?" Sirius asked conversationally as he, Peter and James walked into Defense Against the Dark Arts that afternoon.

"Not me," Peter said immediately. "We have that big project coming up, and I don't want to risk messing up."

James glanced briefly at Sirius as he sat down. He would have liked to have argued with Peter, but he had a point. His notes could be hard to read, and were usually very disorganized. They wouldn't be doing Remus any favors by giving him Peter's notes.

"I already took notes for him this morning," James said. "Your turn."

Sirius didn't argue. They never argued or complained about taking notes for Remus. It was the one very, very small thing that they could do to somehow make their friend's day a little bit easier.

They stopped talking when Professor Pittiman came in and began taking the register. James still wasn't sure what to make of the no-nonsense woman. There was nothing overtly _wrong_ with her so to speak, but she made James uncomfortable. He thought it might be because she was rather boring and his mind tended to wander, and she always seemed to know when a student wasn't paying attention. Remus had gotten his wish on the train. Pittiman was an author, an expert on the modern Dark Arts that were most relevant and dangerous to the current wizarding community.

"Lupin, Remus." James's head jerked up as she called Remus's name. She looked over at the group of boys, noticing the empty seat beside them. "Where's Mister Lupin?" she asked curiously. Most of the Hogwarts staff knew about Remus's condition, but not everyone. Apparently no one had filled her in yet.

"He's sick," Sirius said immediately with just the right amount of casualness.

Out of the corner of his eye, James saw something that caused a flare of panic in his stomach. Lily Evans was frowning, looking back and forth between him and Sirius. As class began he quickly charmed his, Sirius and Peter's parchments.

_-We've got a problem._

Sirius glanced at him irritably.

_-I'm trying to take notes for Remus!_

James rolled his eyes and explained.

_-I told Evans this morning that Remus was gone visiting his sick mum. You just said that he was gone because _he _is sick._

Glancing sideways, he saw both Sirius and Peter's eyes widen.

_-Maybe she forgot already_.

_-Of course she didn't forget, Peter. She's Evans. She's nosy and she never forgets anything._

After he finished scribbling that last comment, he removed the charms from their parchments. After all, Sirius really did need to be taking notes.

----------

"Where's Remus?" Lily demanded, waylaying them in the corridor after class.

"What do you mean?" James asked, raising an eyebrow in what he hoped was a calm and collected manner.

"I _mean_," Lily said with irritation, "you told me earlier that his mum was sick, and then during class _Sirius_ said that-"

"Does it really matter?" Sirius asked, looking completely untroubled. He tried to step around her, but she blocked him.

"Yes, it matters!" She stomped her foot, her hands on her hips. "He's my friend, and you guys are lying!"

"For once in your life," James said, rolling his eyes and successfully slipping past her. "Mind your own business, Evans."

----------

An hour later they returned to their dormitory, food and notes in tow. Peter grabbed the hangings around Remus's bed and pulled them open.

"Wake up, Moony," Sirius said, sitting down on the side of his bed.

Remus rolled over, yawning and wincing in the shadows. "Did you bring me food?" he muttered, sitting up halfway.

"Of course," James said, holding out the stack of sandwiches.

"Don't they ever have anything besides sandwiches?" Remus grumbled just before stuffing an entire sandwich into his mouth.

"He's always so charming the day after a full moon," Sirius said lightly, smirking at Remus. Remus had enough grace to look somewhat abashed, or as abashed as he _could_ look with his entire mouth full of food.

"Sorry," he said once he had swallowed. He sat up the rest of the way to face his friends, allowing the light to really hit him. Peter squealed and James couldn't keep from gasping. Only Sirius was silent, his gray eyes widening soundlessly.

Remus flinched self-consciously and withdrew back into the shadows. "It's not as bad as it looks," he said hurriedly.

"Let me see," Sirius said, pushing the curtains around his bed back farther so that his face was clearly visible. James walked over to join him.

"It's nothing," Remus insisted, embarrassed, but he let them look at his face.

A gash had been ripped from just under his left eye all the way down to under his chin. It was thick and deep, the skin around it was swollen, and much of his face was bruised.

"We're going to need a good story," Sirius said with a frown, standing back and allowing Remus to withdraw from sight again. "Especially after what happened today."

"What happened today?" Remus asked immediately, looking mildly alarmed.

"Your girlfriend was determined to find out why you were missing," Sirius said, rolling his eyes.

"We had a little slip-up with the story," Peter said nervously. "She's the only one who noticed, though."

"Who's my girlfriend?" Remus asked blankly.

"Evans," all three boys said together, and Remus scowled in frustration.

"She's _not_ my girlfriend." They'd had this conversation a hundred times. James found it slightly entertaining to see Remus's frustration as he continually insisted that he and Lily Evans were nothing more than friends.

"Maybe we could say you got attacked by a wild animal," Sirius mused, back on the topic of Remus's cover story.

"I _did_ get attacked by a wild animal," Remus pointed out before jamming another sandwich into his mouth.

James frowned. He hated it when Remus said things like that.

"No way Evans will buy that," Peter said, shaking his head. "You sick, your mum sick, _and_ a wild animal attack?"

"Well, maybe he wasn't really sick, he was just in the hospital wing because he got attacked..." Sirius mused.

"Where on earth would I get attacked by a wild animal?" Remus's words were barely understandable around the food. "There aren't a lot of manticores running around the castle."

"What about the Forbidden Forest?" James suggested. "They say there are plenty of dangerous things in there."

"Maybe you were visiting your sick mum, and while you were there you got hurt..."

"Yeah, because that story worked so well when I tried it on _you_ guys." Remus rolled his eyes at Peter.

They tossed around possibilities for several minutes, lounging on their beds and laughing. As Remus leaned over to grab the last sandwich, the light hit his face again. He looked absolutely awful. James knew that the wounds must be extremely painful, but if Remus felt it, it didn't show.

----------

_Okay, broken internet, broken computer, 4 essays, 2 tests…_

_Y'all might not be getting an update next week. Just letting you know._

_Once again, many thanks to my beta, confusedknight. _


	4. The First Game

The world was going to end. James was certain of it. He would fall off his broom. He would throw the Quaffle through the wrong goal. Maybe he would throw the Quaffle through the wrong goal and _then_ he would fall off his broom… Regardless, he was most definitely going to die, and the world was most definitely going to end.

"Don't you think you're being a touch dramatic?" Remus asked at breakfast after James had voiced all of these thoughts. They were well-rehearsed, seeing as how he had stayed up all night thinking them through.

"No," he said testily, "I _don't_ think I'm being dramatic. Do you have _any_ idea what is at stake here?"

James couldn't decide whether or not to be irritated. His friends were not sharing his anxiety at all. In fact, it was quite easy to tell that they found his nervousness amusing. Still, they were _trying_ to hide their amusement and be sympathetic.

"Eat something," Peter said, scooping a pile of eggs onto James's plate.

"I'm not hungry," he grumbled.

"If you don't eat something you really might fall off your broom," Sirius said.

"I won't faint if I miss one meal," James snapped. "I'm not a girl." But he ate the eggs anyway.

It was a quiet meal. His three friends didn't talk to each other much, undoubtedly due to the fact that James glared at them whenever they did. No one really tried to talk to James because everything they said made him grumpier.

"I can't believe I was stupid enough to think I could do this," he muttered, stabbing a sausage much harder than was necessary. It shot out from under his fork and off of his plate. James swore and tried to stab it again. He was just as unsuccessful as the first time, causing the sausage to fly right off the table. He went to stab another one and Sirius reached out and stopped his hand.

"James," he said, forcing his best friend to look at him. "You're a good Quidditch player. All right? You're good. You know which end of the field you're aiming for. You've never fallen off of your broom before. You're going to be fine. All right?" Sirius held his gaze until James nodded.

"All right," he said. He grabbed the sausage with his fingers and took a bite off the end. "I'm going to head over, check out the conditions," he said, standing up.

His friends wished him luck, and he left the table feeling somewhat calmer than he had felt when he had sat down.

It had rained the night before, making the pitch muddy. His feet sank in the ground as he circled it, making it hard to walk; it would make for a slow takeoff. It was cloudy out; that would make it easier to see since they wouldn't have to be squinting against the sun. It was only mildly breezy, and he didn't think it would have much affect on his flying.

He continued circling and observing until the rest of his teammates arrived.

"James!" Michael Kirke yelled from the edge of the field. "You coming?"

His nerves returned to him as he entered the locker room. He was the only rookie on the team. Everyone else had at least two years of experience. What if he ruined it for all of them? At least his friends had seemed confident that he wouldn't be horrible. He tried to hold onto that as he changed into his Quidditch robes.

"Nervous, James?" Eleanor Peakes asked, looking at him from across the room.

"A little bit," he admitted.

"Don't worry; you're a good player. You'll be fine." She smiled encouragingly at him as she pulled her hair back, and he tried to smile weakly in return.

His nerves nearly erupted into all-out panic when they stepped outside. The crowd cheered and he froze. In his previous two years at Hogwarts, he had never once noticed how many people turned up for a Quidditch game. It took all of his willpower to stop himself from turning around and sprinting back inside.

When he had first made the team, he had sat around and daydreamed about making twenty goals and winning the game and everyone cheering for him. He had thought about how he would be a school hero and everyone would like him and admire him. Now that he was actually here, all he dared hope for was that he wouldn't completely humiliate himself in front of the entire school. He tried to spot Sirius and Remus and Peter in the stands, but there was no way to find a specific face in such a vast crowd.

Feeling like there was a chunk of steel sitting in his stomach, he mounted his broom with the rest of the team. When the whistle blew, he pushed off carefully. Some of the other players kicked off harder and got faster starts than he did, but two Ravenclaws tried to push off hard only to have their feet slide on the grass. One of them shot forward instead of up, and the other nearly fell off of her broom. Feeling some relief that he had at least managed to get into the air competently, he saw the Quaffle flying through the air towards him.

The game had begun.

Even as half of his mind was still panicking, his hands reached out and he caught it easily. He angled to the left, dodging one of the Ravenclaw Chasers in front of him. He saw a Beater hit a Bludger his way and had to swerve to avoid it. Seeing another one coming, he looked around and spotted another Chaser, Susan Bagshot, up ahead of him. He tossed the Quaffle to her and dove to avoid the Bludger.

It was like breathing or walking or laughing. You don't think about it; you just do it. He could read the other player's motions before they moved, could evade the other team, opening himself up for passes. Pretty soon he forgot about the crowds and the pressure and even the score. He knew they were winning, and he had stopped counting several goals back. All he knew was that _he_ had scored eight goals.

Susan passed him the Quaffle and he shot up, flying over one of the Ravenclaw Chasers. The Keeper was hugging the goal for the left. James feigned towards the center goal, then swerved to the right. He was just about to shoot when –

_CRUNCH_.

The Bludger slammed into the side of his knee, and James dropped the Quaffle as pain shot up and down his left leg. It was much harder to keep his balance on the broom with the muscles in his leg not working properly, and for a moment he was afraid that he really _was_ going to fall off of his broom after all. He managed to stay on, but he was going to have to land.

Then for the first time since the game began, he became aware of the crowd. Both sides of the stands were yelling and clapping and cheering. Looking around, James spotted the Ravenclaw Seeker holding the Snitch in his hand. Even though he felt disappointment, he also felt relief. Now he could land without the entire school paying attention to him.

"Are you all right?" Susan Bagshot asked the moment his feet touched the ground. "I saw you get hit."

He tried to dismount his broom, but he couldn't get his leg up. A couple of his teammates hurried over and helped him.

"It looks broken," Michael Kirke said grimly. "Let's get you to Madame Pomfrey."

"But hey," said Eleanor as they hobbled off the pitch, "at least we won!"

"We won?" James repeated, trying not to grimace at the incredible pain that came with every step. "But Ravenclaw got the Snitch!"

"Yes, but that's about all they got," said Susan smugly. "Eleanor blocked pretty much everything they threw at her."

"Two hundred and fifty to one hundred and seventy," said Michael, looking almost gleeful. "We slaughtered them."

It was with high spirits that the Gryffindor Quidditch team entered the hospital wing, half-carrying James. Unfortunately, they were immediately ushered back out.

"It'll only take like five seconds to fix it!" Michael called back as they left. "Why can't we stay?"

But Madame Pomfrey didn't like too much commotion in her wing, and seven victorious Gryffindors were definitely too rowdy.

"Now just sit there for a few minutes and let it rest," she said once she had fixed his leg. James wasn't sure what the point of this was. If the bone was mended, why did he have to rest? He wanted to go back to the Gryffindor common room, where he knew everyone was currently celebrating without him. He was hoping that not too many people had been paying attention once the game was over and that maybe the entire world wouldn't know that he had been hurt.

The door to the infirmary burst open and three very familiar figures rushed in.

"Told you!" Sirius whooped, jumping up onto the cot next to him. "Told you you were good!"

"You didn't die," Remus said, grinning at him, "nor did the world end."

James smiled sheepishly, but before he could respond they were interrupted by Madame Pomfrey.

"Let the boy rest in peace!" she exclaimed, glaring at Sirius who jumped off of the cot at once.

"I feel fine," James said quickly before she could kick them out. "Can I go with them back to Gryffindor Tower?"

She frowned and thought for a moment, then nodded. "Yes, I suppose your leg is probably all right now," she said reluctantly. "You may go."

He stood up and tested his weight; his leg felt fine. Grabbing his broom, he followed his friends back out into the corridor.

"You were great," Peter said earnestly. "You were the best one out there."

James seriously doubted this, but he appreciated the vote of confident all the same. The walk up to the Tower was spent reliving the match. Even though he knew his friends had seen it, he couldn't resist narrating the whole thing, going through it detail by detail. They let him ramble, occasionally grinning at him indulgently or grinning at each other with amusement.

When they joined the rest of the celebrating Gryffindors, Sirius, Remus and Peter slipped off to the edge of the crowd, letting James enjoy his share in the spotlight with the rest of the team. James caught Sirius's eye through the crowd and his friend grinned at him, looking both amused and excited.

It was real excitement, James realized. Sirius wasn't pretending to be happy for him. Whatever reservations he might have had about James making the team, they seemed to have faded entirely.

All of a sudden, the party seemed even better.

----------

_The Third Marauder – I think you're right, to an extent. We know that Death Eaters, like Voldemort, lied their butts off about their heritage. If half-bloods could get in, I suspect that Voldemort didn't run background checks. I have to admit, however, that it _is_ unlikely. It's too late for me to back out of it now though, and I _do_ have a plan for it…_


	5. Werewolves

As far as James could tell, all of their professors adored – or at the very least respected – Remus. Any problems they had with his "condition," as McGonagall had once called it, had been resolved long before James had even known his friend's secret. The truth was that James had never actually witnessed anyone react to the news that Remus was a werewolf aside from Sirius and Peter. Since Remus was Remus, it never really occurred to him that anyone might have a problem with it. Sure, Remus had _said_ that werewolves were looked down upon, shunned even, but James had never seen it firsthand. This was why he spent the first part of that day's Defense Against the Dark Arts class so very confused.

It began when Professor Pittiman was calling the register. It was a very small thing, really: just the tiniest hint of a sneer when she read Remus's name. James had thought the professor had been about to sneeze, but the look quickly faded. The next hint was in the way she passed back their papers; this hint was far less subtle. They had turned in a very long, very important essay the week before, and even James and Sirius had been forced to spend a considerable amount of time working on it. Remus had hardly slept for a week as he frantically researched and wrote. Professor Pittiman avoided looking at James, Sirius and Peter as she placed their essays in front of them. When she reached Remus, she tossed the essay at him from several feet away, as though afraid to touch him. James, Sirius and Peter all exchanged bewildered looks, but Remus reacted for only the briefest moment, looking a little bit confused. Then he kept his eyes on the desk in front of him, his face carefully blank. Very slowly, he unrolled his piece of parchment. James glanced over his shoulder without really feeling any shame for being nosy; they all told each other their grades anyway.

He felt a combination of indignation and confusion when he saw Remus's grade. Thirty three out of fifty? It was without a doubt the lowest score Remus had ever gotten on _anything_! He unrolled his own scroll and saw the forty three out of fifty marked on it. Definitely lower than his usual grades, but still much better than Remus. That made absolutely no sense; there was no doubt in his mind that Remus's essay had been a million times better than his! He rolled his essay back up and stuffed it in his bag, trying to catch Remus's eye. His friend wasn't looking at anyone, however. He was determinedly putting his own essay away and focusing on his desk.

James was as confused by Remus's lack of reaction as he was by the situation itself. As the lecture began, he quickly performed the familiar charm that linked his and Remus's parchments.

-_What's going on with Professor Pittiman???_

Remus read the message, then flicked his wand to remove the charm and continued taking notes. Annoyed, James tried again.

-_You deserved a much better grade on that paper!_

Again, Remus ignored the note and removed the charm. Exasperated, James charmed the parchments once more.

-_It's like she's out to get you! It's totally unfair!_

Remus shot him a glare out of the corner of his eye and finally wrote back.

-_Use that unusually intelligent brain of yours and figure out the obvious. _

James blinked in surprise, offended, and glanced at Remus in confusion.

-_What totally unfair reason would she have to be out to get me?_

This time James let Remus uncharm the parchments and continue with his note taking. Even with Remus's prompting, it took him a few moments to realize what he was talking about. As James put it together, he felt a very quiet, very intense fury settling in his chest. He watched the woman at the front of the classroom; she was completely ignoring their corner, refusing to even look in their general direction. He mentally ran through a long list of names for her, not one of which came even close to describing what he really thought of her in that moment.

He didn't notice a whole lot of what was said in class that day. After placing his wand safely back in his bag in order to remove the temptation of cursing the hag, he spent the rest of the lecture trying to light her hair on fire using just his eyes. To his right, Remus continued to ignore him, and on his left Sirius was giving him strange looks. James considered writing Sirius a note explaining what was going on, but thought better of it. He was pretty sure that Sirius would not hide his wand in his bag and settle for glaring at her; Sirius would probably hex her right there in front of the entire class.

He waited anxiously for class to end. He wanted to hide somewhere with his friends so that he could say exactly what was going through his mind. He knew that Sirius and Peter would agree with him, and he hoped that their indignation on his behalf might be of some comfort to Remus. Unfortunately, class wasn't quite over yet.

"Next class we'll begin our new unit," Professor Pittiman announced at the end of the lecture. James was barely paying attention. "The Threats and Dangers of Dark Creatures. Please read chapter seven for homework."

James felt his stomach sink. Beside him, Remus was flipping through his book. His face and demeanor were still completely calm and expressionless; the only indicator that he was at all rattled was the near-frantic speed with which he was turning the pages.

All around them, other students were gathering their books and standing up. James stood up too, leaving his bags where they were, and looked over Remus's shoulder. He had found chapter seven, and was now turning the pages more slowly, reading the section headings. _Please don't let it be there_, he hoped fervently, repeating the words over and over to himself. Then Remus flipped to the very last page of the chapter, and he saw it: _Werewolves_. He closed his eyes and exhaled slowly. He would not lose it. Remus could lose it if he wanted to – and James almost hoped he did – but he would not. He would keep his temper.

Remus didn't lose it though. He simply closed his textbook, loaded it into his bag, and walked out of the classroom without even looking at his friends.

"That was weird," Sirius said as James grabbed his bag. He was watching in puzzlement as Remus disappeared out the door.

"That whole class was weird today," Peter agreed quietly. He glanced over his shoulder at Professor Pittiman as they left the room.

"James?" Sirius asked. Rather than joining in the speculation, he was hurrying down the corridor, nearly running. Perplexed, Sirius and Peter hurried after him.

"Remus," he said tersely by way of explanation. He could barely spot his small friend through the crowd, but he saw him turn left into a staircase that led to Gryffindor Tower.

He was already in the dormitory when they reached it. Sitting on his bed, he had his head on his knees and his hair in his hands, his breath coming in ragged gasps. At first James thought he was crying. Both Sirius and Peter look instantly alarmed, and James felt the anger rushing through him all over again.

"Remus?" Peter said tentatively, sitting down on the edge of his bed. "What's going on?"

He looked up and James saw that his eyes were dry, but they were also frantic and confused.

"That woman is a horrible, wretched, ignorant, _idiotic_-" James began, but he found he was unable to finish the sentence. He was so furious that he was shaking.

"Does one of you want to fill us in on what's going on?" Sirius asked, sounding both annoyed and worried. James opened his mouth to respond, but Remus beat him to it.

"It seems," he said with a bitter smile, his hands still clenching his hair, "that someone finally told Professor Pittiman what I am."

There was a moment of silence, and then Sirius was halfway to the door before anyone even noticed he had moved.

"No," James said firmly, running after him and grabbing the back of his robes.

"I'm just going to talk to her," Sirius insisted, gray eyes flashing.

"Cursing a teacher will not solve anything," said James, trying to sound soothing.

"It'll make me feel better!" Sirius insisted, smacking James's hand away.

It took a great deal of coaxing and eventual wand-stealing to keep Sirius in the dormitory. After a few minutes of thoroughly abusing the woman, Remus said that he wasn't hungry and didn't want any dinner, and closed the hangings around his bed. James was torn between wanting to stay to make sure he was okay and letting him be alone for a little bit, which was clearly what he wanted. In the end, the three of them went downstairs to dinner, though no one ate very much.

"We've got to do something," Sirius said miserably, shoving his food around with his fork. The other two agreed, but the conversation died there. James felt completely and utterly helpless and he realized there was nothing they _could _do for their friend.

----------

James was very relieved that they did not have Defense Against the Dark Arts the day after the next full moon. He still spent half of his time compiling a mental list of all the terrible things they could do to Professor Pittiman, who spent each class period determinedly ignoring the four of them. He was afraid that if she had any of reaction at all to Remus's absence, he would have a hard time controlling his own temper, much less trying to make Sirius control his.

As Transfiguration began he felt a great surge of affection for McGonagall, who showed no reaction whatsoever to Remus's absence. She liked Remus. She _knew _Remus. James was actually considering getting her some chocolates the next time they broke into Honeydukes.

He had been nominated to take notes for this class, so he was being somewhat more attentive than usual. The lecture was on human transfigurations, which were actually rather interesting.

_Polyjuice Potion_, he wrote. _Very effective for changing appearance. Turns you into someone else_.

As McGonagall continued to give details about how the potion worked, an idea sparked in the back of James's mind. Without really thinking about it, he raised his hand.

"Professor?"

"Yes, Potter?" said McGonagall.

"This Polyjuice Potion – does it work with animals too?" A wonderful plan was beginning to form, and he tried to contain his excitement. Then, just as abruptly, his excitement was killed.

"No, the potion is only for human transfiguration," McGonagall said at once, and very emphatically. Disappointed, James marked down in his notes, _Not to be used for animal transfigurations_.

"The only way to do animal transfiguration," McGonagall continued, "is to become an animagus."

James actually stopped breathing.

"A what?

"An Animagus," McGongall repeated. Then, with no preamble whatsoever, she turned into a cat. She let out a long meow, swished her tail once, then turned back into their professor. James's jaw dropped open as the rest of the class burst into applause.

"Becoming an Animagus is a very complicated process," said McGongall, "and very dangerous."

She then returned to the discussion of Polyjuice Potion and James tried hard to stay focused on his notes. _Animagus_, he repeated to himself over and over again so he wouldn't forget the word. He didn't write it down on the parchment of notes for Remus.

----------

_Author's notes:_

_Okay, some (rather extensive) general business to take care of…_

_First of all, the usual "please review." Reviews mean a lot to me. If I know what's working, I can keep doing it, and if I know what the problems are, I can try to fix them._

_Secondly, an apology. In One Year, I was much more attentive to style, and made a point to try to imitate JKR. I noticed recently that I've stopped doing that, and much of my own style has crept in. I will be on the look-out for that in the future._

_Thirdly - POV. I've gotten several comments that I write Remus the best. This works out nicely, since I like writing Remus the best. I. Love. Remus. Now, in theory I have 4 more years to write. My original plan was to write year 4 from a rotating POV among all 4 and split up 5-7 between Remus, Sirius and James again. I don't want to write a Peter year, and since this is fanfic and not a serious story, I don't feel obligated to do a Peter year. However, I am rethinking my original plan. Here are the options:_

_1. 4th year rotating, 5-7 distributed among the three boys_

_2. 5th year rotating, the rest of them written Remus_

_3. 5th year James, the rest of them Remus_

_4. Some other arrangement entirely_

_There are some scenes in year 5 that I want from James's POV. Other than that, I'm debating. So... poll time! What would you guys like to see? Let me know. _

_Aimael – I actually agree with you entirely about the previous chapter. I don't like qudditich much either, but I felt obligated to write at least one quidditch chapter. Thanks for sticking with it anyway. :) I'm hoping this one makes up for it a bit; I really like this chapter._


	6. Hogsmeade

Peter was practically bouncing with excitement as November brought with it the event that James knew he had been looking forward to for two years. He spent breakfast talking so rapidly that his friends could hardly understand him. They humored him and allowed him to rant, all three of them alternating between amused and bored.

"It's really not _that _exciting, Peter," said James as he crunched on some bacon.

"But there's Honeydukes-"

"Which you've seen," Sirius pointed out.

"Only the basement!" Peter protested. "I've never seen the shop itself! And there's the Shrieking Shack-"

"Which you've actually been _inside _of," Remus cut in, rolling his eyes.

Peter frowned, looking annoyed by their lack of enthusiasm. "But I've never seen it from the outside!"

"I bet the inside is far more interesting," said James. The three of them had grown up in wizarding families and found the idea of an all-wizarding town to be significantly less exciting than Peter did. Besides, there were far more entertaining things to be dealt with.

James nudged Sirius as Professor Pittiman sat down at the head table and they exchanged a grin. From underneath his robes, Sirius flicked his wand and muttered a quiet spell that they had picked up from James's favorite book, _The Greatest Charms You Won't Learn in School_.

The school bursts into delighted snickers as they did every morning. In fact, most of the students now looked forward to the moment during breakfast when all of Pittiman's hair would simply vanish from her head. The first morning the professor had panicked at her sudden baldness, shrieking and clutching her head. Now she tried very hard to remain completely dignified as she conjured a hat and placed it on her head. This was how she dealt with her daily humiliation; pretend nothing had happened, and wear a hat. Sirius and James had seriously considered banishing the hat, but they hadn't quite mastered the spell yet.

"You guys are going to get in _so_ much trouble," Peter whispered frantically, his eyes darting to the front table. Dumbledore was surveying the Great Hall, blue eyes narrowed angrily.

"Look casual, Peter," Sirius warned. Peter leaned back and tried to look as calm and careless as his friends. Remus was pretending that nothing had happened. After the third morning he had very awkwardly and embarrassedly told them thank you, but it really wasn't necessary and he didn't want them to get in trouble on his behalf. They had all solemnly agreed with him and then continued the prank anyway.

"It's worth it," Sirius had told James, a bit viciously, and James had agreed. He believed the woman deserved a tiny bit of humiliation for the way she treated Remus, and frankly James thought she was lucky that Sirius wasn't inflicting actual bodily harm. He knew they would have to stop though, and soon. They were trying Dumbledore's patience, and it was only a matter of time until they were caught. They had therefore agreed that two weeks was a nice, round number; this meant that Pittiman had four more mornings of baldness ahead of her. After that, they would have to find a new way to punish her. James was already combing the book, looking for new ideas.

Conversation quickly resumed in the Great Hall once Pittiman put on her hat. The students were accustomed enough to the incident that it no longer caused the uproar it did originally. Peter continued his excited rant, and when the time came to line up with the rest of the older students even James, Sirius and Remus couldn't help feeling a little excited. The town itself might not be all that thrilling, but they were actually getting to leave the school for the day, and _that _was new and exciting. Peter was nearly skipping as they walked into Hogsmeade.

"What would you like to see first, Peter?" asked James, his kind tone just a little bit patronizing.

Peter screwed his face up thoughtfully before saying, "Honeydukes."

None of them had actually been inside the public part of Honeydukes before; their experience in the sweet shop was limited to the basement. Once again, even James and Sirius had a hard time containing their glee in the brightly colored shop.

"You prat," Sirius said to Remus as he examined a display of Fizzing Whizbees. "We've been overpaying!"

Remus shrugged. "That's the price we pay for stealing," he said without remorse.

"How are we stealing if we're overpaying?" James asked, but Remus just shrugged again. James rolled his eyes and turned around, bumping straight into a greasy, dark-haired boy. He almost apologized, then abruptly stopped.

"Watch where you're going," he snarled instead, his eyes narrowing in avid dislike as he recognized the face. The boy glowered at him and tried to step around him, but Sirius stuck out his foot, causing the boy to trip and tumble to the ground.

"Careful there, Snivellus," he said, making James snicker. Peter giggled, but Remus frowned as the boy hurried away without saying a word.

"Was that really necessary?" he muttered to his friends as they took their purchases to the register. All three of them looked surprised.

"He's a git!" Sirius exclaimed. "You know that!"

"Yes," admitted Remus reluctantly, "but he wasn't really being a git just then, was he? I mean, all he did was bump into you."

They reached the front of the line, interrupting their conversation, but they resumed it as soon as they were on their way out the door.

"Come on, Remus," James said. "You know at some point in the past few weeks Snivellus was being a git and no one was there to trip him. It's only fair!"

Before Remus could answer, they were accosted by a flash of red hair.

"Potter! Black!"

James winced at his friends in dread before smiling pleasantly at the approaching girl. "Morning, Evans," he said cheerily.

"Why are you such arrogant jerks?" she demanded, hands on her hips. Come to think of it, this really was the only way James had ever seen her: glaring at him with her hands on her hips.

He pondered her question for a moment before saying, "I really have absolutely no idea how to answer that. Could you be more specific?"

She was almost cute when she looked like a tomato, he thought to himself with mild amusement; her face was turning a color that closely resembled her hair.

"Severus!" she said, stomping her foot. She did _that_ quite a bit too, he realized. "I'm talking about Severus! Why are you such a bully?"

"Because he deserves it," he said offhandedly. "Why are you always sticking your nose in everyone else's business?"

"He's my _friend_." The fury in her green eyes bordered on hate. "So it's _my_ business too."

"Leave it alone, Evans," said Sirius. "It has nothing to do with you."

"Why are you always nosing around in other people's lives?" Peter added, trying to adopt the same look of casual scorn as Sirius.

She was practically fuchsia now. "You are all horrible, awful, soulless prats," she hissed.

"Hey!" exclaimed Remus indignantly.

Lily looked just a tiny bit abashed. "You didn't exactly stop them, did you?" she asked, and Remus turned a little pink himself.

James was beginning to get truly annoyed now. After all, she had no right to make Remus feel bad.

"I've already told you once this term," he said coldly, "that for just once in your life, you should _mind your own business."_

"Right," Lily said, straightening up, her arms falling to her sides. "I've been meaning to ask you about that." She turned to Remus, suddenly very calm, and Remus's eyes widened in alarm. "Are you feeling better now, Remus?" she asked politely.

Remus gave his head a quick shake; it made his hair fall into face, covering up any bruises or cuts. It was a pointless motion at the moment because his face was healed, but James recognized the gesture; it was one Remus often did when conversation wandered too close to his secret. He doubted Remus even realized he did it.

"Yes," Remus said nervously. "Much better, thanks."

"I was curious," she continued, suddenly glaring at him sternly so that James thought she looked quite a bit like his mum, "because James actually said that it was your _mum_ who was sick. Weird, isn't it? You would think he would know whether his own friend was sick. And then when you came back you looked positively _awful_."

"It was nothing. I was just sick. We were both sick," Remus said, his eyes darting side to side. _That _meant that Remus was moving from nervous to panicked, and James felt annoyance give way to outright irritation.

"You were both-" Lily began, but she was interrupted by James who stepped up, took her by the shoulders, spun her around so she was facing the opposite direction, and gave her a small push.

"Go. Away."

She turned back around and smacked his still-outstretched hands to the side. "You really are insufferable, Potter."

"Funny," Sirius said. "You'd think if he were insufferable you would leave us alone more."

James fully expected Remus to tell them off as Lily stormed away in a huff, but he had forgotten about his friend's current state of mind. Remus was still frozen and pale, watching her retreating back.

"Breathe, Moony," he said, clapping him on the shoulder. "It's only Evans, after all."

"Right," muttered Remus, taking a shaky breath.

"It only seems appropriate that we go check out the Shrieking Shack now, doesn't it?" Sirius said, and the three of them guided their friend away from the crowds of Hogsmeade


	7. Home for the Holidays

­Maybe it was because it was snowy out and they were now castle-bound, or perhaps it was because as soon as they got back from holiday they would be studying werewolves, or perhaps it was simply because the woman continued to be horrible; whatever the reason, punishing Professor Pittiman became almost an obsession in the following weeks. James and Sirius were constantly brainstorming while Peter giggled nervously and Remus feigned deafness.

"This one would vanish all of her clothes," Sirius said thoughtfully one evening as they lounged around the common room. He was flipping through James's book yet again.

"Why in the name of _Merlin_ would we want to see her naked?" James cried, choking in disgust. He reached over and tried to snatch the book, but Sirius held it out of reach.

"Good point," he said, wrinkling his nose. "Still, a good one to note for future use …" he eyed a group of fourth year girls that were sitting around the fire and Remus shook his head disapprovingly.

"Where's your girlfriend?" he asked without glancing up from his Transfiguration textbook.

"Dumped her," said Sirius with a frown, his attention back on his book.

"What? Since _dinner_?" Remus exclaimed in exasperation, causing both James and Peter to snicker. Sirius scowled.

"Yes," he said shortly. "Right after dinner."

James tried to hide it when his snicker turned into an outright burst of laughter by pretending to have a furious coughing fit. Maureen MacDougal had spent most of dinner trying to feed Sirius's food to him and calling him "Sweetheart." Anyone watching could have seen that Sirius did not find this the slightest bit cute or endearing, but the giggly second year girl hadn't taken the hint. Frankly, James was impressed that Sirius waited until after dinner to break up with her instead of doing it right then in front of the entire school.

Sirius wasn't fooled by James's fake cough and looked up from reading just long enough to shoot him a withering glare.

"What about this?" he said, changing the subject. "You charm her shoes and she'll be forced to walk everywhere backwards until it's reversed." He considered for a moment and shrugged. "It might be funny if she had to walk everywhere backwards for a day." He flipped to the next page and his jaw dropped open before he burst into roaring laughter.

"What is it?" James asked, trying once again to take the book, but Sirius jerked it away.

"This one would make her fart chickens," he choked out between laughs. A shocked Peter sat up so fast that he fell off of his chair.

"Fart – chickens - ?" he repeated.

"Perfect!" cries James as he finally successfully stole the book. "It's not even all that difficult! It's really just a variation on the bat-bogey hex."

Remus seemed unable to decide whether he was amused or alarmed, the result being a strange facial tic that made James laugh even harder "Listen," he said finally, apparently settling on alarm.

"Save it, Moony," Sirius interrupted.

"No, really," Remus insisted, not looking directly at them. "Thank you guys. Really, I appreciate it and everything, but—" he shifted his gaze to them and shook his head, looking a little bit defeated. "You guys are going to be in _so_ much trouble when you get caught. It's not worth it."

He might have stood a chance of convincing them if he hadn't run his fingers through his hair in frustration just then; the movement allowed them an unusually clear view of all of his scars.

"Don't you have homework to do?" asked Sirius, nodding to the textbook in his lap. Remus sighed and looked at the book for a moment. Then he shut it and dropped it on the floor, but he didn't continue his lecture; he just stared off into space.

It had been a halfhearted effort at best. James wondered if it was because Remus knew he was fighting a losing battle or if it was because Remus himself wanted to see the woman suffer. He had never known his friend to be vindictive; but then, he had never known him to get bottom marks on an essay either.

----------

James always looked forward to Christmas. His mum would cook his favorite foods for him and he and his dad would sit around and talk or play games and his dad would tell him stories of his own Hogwarts days. Story time generally occurred when his mum wasn't around because she disapproved of many of the stories, especially the ones that involved the Invisibility Cloak. Out of consideration for his friends, however, James tried to contain his excitement as the holiday approached. Remus was staying at Hogwarts, just like he had done the year before. Sirius, like James and Peter, was going home for Christmas, but unlike his friends he was not at all happy about it.

"Why don't you stay?" Remus asked the night before the holiday began.

Sirius shook his head. "I should," he muttered, "but Regulus guilted me into going. Said it would be mean of me not to, seeing as how it's the first year with my dad gone." He spoke of his dead father without the slightest trace of sadness; this didn't surprise James. That fact that Sirius had spoken with his brother, however, did.

For the past three and a half months Sirius had done an exceptionally good job of pretending that his little brother didn't exist. Back at the beginning of term he had stopped talking, seemed to have stopped _breathing_ while Regulus was being sorted (and Regulus took an unusually long time to sort). James suspected that in that moment, Sirius had hoped just a little bit that Regulus would be in Gryffindor too. Still, when the Sorting Hat had shouted "Slytherin," Sirius had successfully managed to look bored and apathetic, and had hardly looked at his brother since. Every once in a while James spotted Regulus watching Sirius, but Sirius ignored him. As far as James had known, the two hadn't exchanged a single word since arriving at Hogwarts, so he was surprised to hear that they had discussed their Christmas plans together. So, apparently, was Remus.

"You spoke with Regulus?" said Remus, looking a little bit hopeful. Sirius gave him a withering glare that quickly killed the question, and Peter hurriedly changed the subject.

"So why aren't you going home?" he asked Remus.

"Same reason as last year," said Remus. "I just don't feel like it."

"You don't feel like it?" Sirius repeated blankly, the scowl fading as the conversation turned away from his family.

"My whole family is getting together for Christmas again," explained Remus, "and some members of my family like me more than others. My aunt, for example, adores me. My uncle, on the other hand, once tried to convince my parents that it would be a mercy if they just killed me while I was still young." He smiled twistedly and shrugged at them. "Sometimes I can handle it, but I just don't feel up to it this year. I'd rather stay here."

James felt slightly sick and was suddenly desperate to be home, far away from Gryffindor tower, far away from Hogwarts and Pittiman and all the unfairness and confusion, and back in a place that was safe and made sense.

----------

Unfortunately for James, Christmas was not all he had expected it to be; he was extremely upset to find that home was not the refuge he had remembered. His mother was thinner than she had been at the beginning of September, and she often seemed flustered or upset. His dad's hair was grayer and he always looked worried. In fact, there was an air of apprehension in the Potter house that James had never felt before.

He thought perhaps he was imagining it. It was normal to worry about one's friends, he assured himself, and perhaps those worries had simply followed him home. He told himself that his mother wasn't _really _blustery and snappish and that his dad wasn't _really _unusually quiet.

The holiday was a long one. He read his Defense Against the Dark Arts textbook, which told him very little about werewolves that he hadn't already known. He wrote to Sirius frequently, refraining from mentioning his parents' strange behavior; he knew without a doubt that Sirius was having a worse holiday than he was. He practiced Quidditch in the backyard, but without any real enthusiasm. By the time New Year rolled around, he was spending a lot of time lying around on the couch downstairs, staring at the ceiling.

His stay at home was abruptly cut off five days early when one of his dad's old friends died. His parents were going to travel to Finland, where the man and his family lived, to attend the funeral.

"We'll be gone for a few days," his dad told him. "By the time we get back, it'll be nearly time for you to return anyway."

James didn't answer as he loaded up his trunk.

"You don't mind going back early, do you?" his dad asked, a bit anxiously. James looked up and saw that saw that his hazel eyes, which were exactly like his own, were almost pleading. "I mean, you said Remus stayed, so you'll have a friend there."

"It's fine, Dad," said James. The holiday had been a bust anyway. What did it matter if he went back early?

"I _have_ to go," his dad said. He seemed to be talking to himself more than to James. "To show my respect. He deserves respect."

He was acting very strange about the whole thing. Of course, he had been acting strange ever since James had gotten home.

"Of course. I understand," said James, even though he didn't really. "What happened, anyway?" His dad looked at him blankly. "To your friend, I mean. Was he sick?"

His dad didn't answer at first, his face inscrutable. "He was murdered," he said finally, and James blinked in surprise.

"Murdered?"

"Yes."

James waited, but his dad didn't elaborate. "_Why_? By who?" he asked, trying to process this information; he'd never really known anyone who had been murdered before.

His dad paused, seeming to choose his words carefully. Finally he sat down on James's bed and asked, "Have you ever heard of someone called Lord Voldemort?"

----------

"Yeah," said Sirius. He scowled at first, but the scowl quickly gave way to a wearied frown. "My family was talking a lot about him too. Though I suspect they were saying very different things than your family," he added, looking slightly ashamed.

"What's he lord of?" asked Remus as he pulled his pajamas over his head.

James shrugged. "Dunno. My dad didn't say. But apparently he's killed a lot of people in the last few months."

"He's been around for years, killing people and gaining followers," said Sirius. "I've heard him mentioned around the house, but I didn't realize he had gotten so powerful. I generally try to ignore those conversations."

"What does he _do_?" asked Peter. "Just wander around killing people?"

"He's one of those people who believe that only pure-bloods are really magic," said Sirius disgustedly. "He's trying to 'purify the race.'"

James had never really given much thought to the whole pure-blood issue. It had always just been something that alienated Sirius from his family; the actual concept was never important. Now he felt a horrible mix of guilt and relief whenever he thought about his own heritage. He was a pure-blood; he parents were pure-blood. They were safe. He couldn't bring himself to look at Remus and Peter as this thought crossed his mind yet again.

"What's the ministry doing about it?" Peter asked nervously.

"There's a special group of Aurors that they've assigned to tracking down him and his followers," said Sirius, "but from what I understand, they aren't having much success. Don't worry, Peter," he added. James looked up at those words and saw the fear on Peter's face. "My family says Hogwarts is untouchable. They say he won't mess with Dumbledore."

Once the lights were out and all of his friends had fallen silent, James rolled over in his bed and pulled his pillow over his head, burying his face in the sheets in frustration. First Pittiman and the werewolf thing, and now this pure-blood thing. It didn't make sense, he thought, that the older he got and the more he learned about magic, the more helpless he felt.

----------

_Author's Note:_

_I thought I'd drop a recommendation to y'all; I read an excellent fic the other day about the Snape prank: "The Way Things Were," by Lady Bracknell. It's definitely worth checking out, especially if you're in love with Remus like I am._


	8. Werewolves and Chickens

"Does the fact that we have a two-foot essay due in three days mean _anything_ to anyone but me?" Remus grumbled good-naturedly, but no one really paid any attention to him.

"Three days is forever," said James absently, turning right and starting down a staircase.

"Wait," said Sirius from directly behind him. "Let's take the other stairway."

"The other one?" repeated James blankly.

"By the portrait of the dancing knights," Sirius clarified.

"But that one is ages away! Why would we do that?"

"_Because_," said Sirius, adjusting the cloak so that it covered all of them better, "almost every time we get caught, it's due to those damn trick steps!"

"That's true," Remus agreed. "And when we get separated, _you _always run off with the cloak," he added accusingly.

James felt a twinge of guilt. "All right," he said grudgingly. "We'll use the other staircase."

It was not often that Remus agreed to wander the halls with incomplete homework hanging over his head and classes the next morning. James had been prepared to force him, to refuse to take no for an answer, but Remus had only put up a brief, perfunctory fight before agreeing. It wasn't a big adventure, by any means; they were only going to the kitchens for some snacks, but that wasn't the point. The adventure came in breaking the rules, roaming the halls, feeling the burst of adrenaline that came with almost getting caught.

James knew that Remus objected to rule-breaking on principle, but he also knew that Remus enjoyed the late-night treks around the school as much as the rest of them. Try as he may to hide it, the satisfied grin on his face each time they returned was uncannily similar to Sirius's. That was why James, Sirius and Peter had decided to journey to the kitchens that night: they wanted to do something cheerful and fun to distract Remus from the fact that they were going over werewolves in class the next day.

It almost seemed to work, at least for a few minutes. The trip to the kitchens and back was almost perfect: it contained a run-in with Mrs. Norris, one frantic dash to hide behind a statute when they spotted a couple of prefects patrolling, and an instance where Sirius smacked his funny bone on a suit of armor and let out a long string of obscenities so loudly that it echoed up and down the hallway. In short, just enough going on to keep it exciting, but not enough to send Remus into an actual panic.

Unfortunately, the success was short-lived. They had hardly returned to their dormitory before Remus slipped into silence. He didn't pout or sulk or even look upset; he sat on the floor beside his bed and snacked on cakes from the kitchens and listened to his friends talk and joke with a detached, blank expression on his face. It wasn't the first time they had seen him in this mood. He slipped into it quite frequently now, and it was nearly impossible to draw him out of it and back into conversation with them. It made James hate Pittiman all over again.

----------

"You could pretend to be sick," James suggested quietly as he pulled on his robes. Remus was sitting on his bed, already dressed and staring intently into space. He pretended not to hear James; he just grabbed his bookbag and headed for the door.

"Remus," James called after him, but his friend ignored him. "Moony, _wait_." Remus stopped and James hurried over to him. "Remus—"

"I'll be fine," Remus interrupted him. He was looking just past James; it was an annoying new habit he had developed, refusing to actually meet his friends' eyes.

"_Look_ at me," James demanded impatiently, and to his relief, Remus obeyed.

"I'll be fine, James," he repeated quietly.

"We'd make your excuses for you," said Sirius from his bed; he had stopped halfway through the process of putting on his shoes.

"I know you would." Something akin to a smile flittered briefly across Remus's face. "But you make enough excuses for me." Peter opened his mouth to argue, but Remus didn't give him the chance. "Besides," he added, standing up a little straighter, his eyes narrowing in determination, "I don't want to give her the satisfaction."

James couldn't argue with that, so there was nothing left to do but walk downstairs to breakfast. The four of them were quieter than usual, but the general air of nervousness was somewhat eased, replaced with a kind of fierce stubbornness.

By the time they finally arrived at Defense Against the Dark Arts that afternoon, however, fear was once again mixing with that stubbornness in Remus's amber, wolfish eyes. He sat at his desk, parchment in front of him, staring straight ahead.

"You're really going to take _notes_?" Sirius leaned over and muttered, and James was relieved to see a tiny, brief smile from Remus.

When Pittiman walked in, James knew his ferocious glare mirrored the one on Sirius's face, and even Peter looked uncharacteristically hostile. Pittiman completely ignored them, as she always did, but James spotted a couple of classmates staring at them strangely. He tried to force his face into a more neutral expression and scribbled notes to Sirius and Peter recommending they do the same. Peter's anger was replaced with a sullen look; Sirius's expression remained exactly the same.

James spent the first few minutes of the lecture focusing more on his self-control than on the lecture, but he soon found himself drawn in. Pittiman, for all her wretchedness, knew a great deal that had not been in the text; unfortunately, the seemingly accurate information was scattered with facts that James knew to be flat-out untrue.

She explained that a werewolf differs from others even when he is in human form. She said that a werewolf has heightened senses, which James had already suspected; that he is temperamental and prone to violence, at which Sirius raised his eyebrows and smirked at Remus; and that during puberty the instability of the hormones "intensified all the symptoms of his condition, both in human and wolf form." This last claim caused Peter to snicker and Remus to turn bright red.

From there, the lecture moved to less pleasant territory. She gave them the statistics for bites and deaths in different areas of Europe. She read a couple of real-life accounts of werewolf attacks in which children were killed. Beside James, Remus gave an almost imperceptible shudder.

"Werewolves," Pittiman said, "suffer from a constant bloodlust. The desire for humans is strongest during a full moon, of course, when the wolf is transformed; at that point it is undeniable. It is not limited to the full moon, however. Even in human form, the werewolf craves human flesh."

James let out a snort that he successfully turned into a hacking cough. Looking to the side, he saw surprised bewilderment on Remus's face. His eyes darted over to James as he coughed, and James was relieved to see a trace of what was unmistakably amusement in his eyes.

"Fortunately," Pittiman continued, ignoring James, "there is legislation to help protect _us_ against werewolves." There was just the tiniest bit of emphasis on the word "us," and her eyes grazed the four of them very briefly. "Who knows what happens first once a man has been bitten by a werewolf? Evans?"

"They're registered with the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures," said Lily Evans, lowering her hand.

"Correct. Ten points to Gryffindor. These records make it easier for the Ministry to track werewolves and hopefully prevent werewolf attacks. Unfortunately, the most effective precaution is only used _after _a werewolf has attacked. A werewolf who attacks a human is immediately put down without a trial—"

Two seats to his right, Sirius's inkbottle slipped off his desk and crashed onto the floor, glass and ink flying everywhere. It was followed by some colorful swearing as Sirius repaired the bottle and retrieved it from under his desk. James hoped that most of the class would assume that his face was that dangerous shade of fuchsia because he was embarrassed.

Pittiman actually looked at them for the first time in months, opening her mouth to reprimand Sirius. He met her stare, his gray eyes full of open hatred, and she closed her mouth again before she had gotten the first word out; she looked a little bit frightened, and James didn't blame her. Sirius looked absolutely murderous.

She ended class quickly after that, instructing them all to read chapter eight for homework before hurrying out of the room. Their classmates all looked a little bit confused as they packed up their books, startled by the class's abrupt ending. James, Remus, Sirius and Peter loaded up their own bags in silence, knowing that everything they wanted to say would have to wait until they were alone.

"How _awful_," James heard Florence Flume say to her friends. "I mean, I knew werewolves were terrible, but did you hear what she said about how violent they are, even when they're humans? And that stuff about bloodlust! That was _horrible_!"

Lily Evans shuddered as the group walked past them. "Werewolves gives me the creeps," she said. "Let's talk about something else."

James watched Sirius carefully to make sure that he wasn't going to have to physically restrain him, but Sirius settled for snarling at the girls' retreating backs. James then turned his attention back to Remus and was surprised to see the intensity of the hurt on his face as he stared at the doorway where the girls had disappeared. Then James remembered: Remus and Evans were friends. He felt a rush of intense dislike for the girl.

"It's over now," Peter said as the last of the students left the room. "No more worrying about it."

Remus stared at him dully before he headed for the door. "Don't be stupid, Peter," he said coldly. "It'll never be over. I'll always worry about it."

Peter looked stunned; the comment and the tone were extremely uncharacteristic of Remus. Remus quickly realized it too and sighed, turning back around.

"I'm sorry, Peter," he said tiredly. "I…" he trailed off and shook his head, leaving the sentence unfinished.

"It's okay," said Peter quickly, though he still looked a little offended.

"No, it's not. This isn't your fault." Remus tried to smile at him, but achieved little more than a grimace. "And you're right. This, at least, is over."

They left the classroom and fell in with the crowd heading toward the Great Hall. Wordlessly, Sirius raised his eyebrows at James questioningly and James nodded. The time had come.

They were halfway to the Great Hall when they spotted her. She seemed to have recovered her composure and was chatting amiably with a sixth year student in the midst of a crowd that was heading to dinner.

"Behind here," Sirius said, gesturing to a large gargoyle statue, and James followed him.

"What are we doing?" Peter asked as he and Remus crammed in behind the gargoyle with them. The statue did not come even close to hiding all four of them, but none of them seemed to notice.

"Getting revenge," answered Sirius with a vicious smile.

"You're kind of scary, you know," said Remus, sounding very unconcerned. "How are we getting revenge?"

Sirius was already flicking his wand and muttering under his breath. For a moment, James thought that maybe the spell was a dud. Then he saw several feathers fall out of the bottom of Pittiman's robes.

"It's working!" Peter hissed delightedly, bouncing up and down with excitement.

Pittiman was looking very, very confused. She frowned over her shoulder at the feathers on the floor behind her, then tried to resume her conversation. She had hardly taken two more steps, however, when there was the unmistakable sound of a fart, followed by a loud squawk. The hallway quieted down a little as people looked around for the source of the sound. It came again, echoing on the stone walls, and Pittiman's face registered alarm as she looked down and realized where the sound was coming from.

Then, to the extreme glee and euphoria of the four boys behind the gargoyle, a chicken flapped its way out from under their professor's robes.

The hallway erupted into laughter while Pittiman stared at the chicken in utterly baffled horror. The bird wandered down the hallway talking to itself until there was another fart, and then its squawks were joined by a second set of squawks. The look of confusion on Pittiman's face instantly transformed into panic as she realized what was about to happen. A second, then a third, and then a fourth chicken found their way out into the corridor, each one looked slightly ruffled and offended by the time it was free from the robes. A couple of students were rooted to the ground in shock, but most of them were roaring with laughter, tears filling their eyes as they pointed at their humiliated and bemused teacher. Finally, Pittiman turned and fled down the hallway back towards her office, dropping two more chickens on the way.

Behind the gargoyle statue, Sirius was grinning victoriously while James, Remus and Peter laughed hysterically.

"That was great," said James, wiping his eyes. "Perfect. Absolutely priceless."

Then a mirthless, cold voice spoke from behind them. "Enough."

James looked at the stone gargoyle in front of them and suddenly realized where they were; he knew he should be alarmed, but as he turned and saw Professor Dumbledore standing in a familiar doorway, a spiral staircase moving behind him, he laughed even harder.

"Oops," said Sirius stupidly. James knew it was in reference to their choice in location, not in reference to what they had just done to their Defense Against the Dark Arts professor.

As they followed Dumbledore into his office, James tried to contain his laughter. It was hard to get the image of Pittiman fleeing out of his mind, and it was funnier every time. As usual, Peter was giggling nervously and Sirius looked completely calm and composed, as though Dumbledore were merely taking them on a tour of his office. Remus, on the other hand, looked completely out of character. Usually when they were in trouble, the boy went dead-white with silent panic. Now he looked completely calm, even content with life as he walked with his friends into the Headmaster's office.

"I don't suppose there's any need to ask if you four have been behind _all_ of the mysterious events surrounding Professor Pittiman for the last few months," said Dumbledore quietly once they were all settled in chairs in front of his desk. James merely grinned at him happily, his laughter finally under control. He didn't check his friends' reactions; he was busy meeting Dumbledore's stare without any sign of shame. While he wasn't going to deny what he had done, he also wasn't going to show false remorse for it either.

"Actually," said Sirius, "Remus wasn't—"

Remus kicked Sirius and glared at him, and Sirius instantly went silent. Dumbledore looked back and forth between the two of them.

"You were a part of this, Remus?" he asked, his face inscrutable.

"Yes, sir," said Remus without hesitating. Dumbledore pressed the tips of his fingers together as he surveyed them, and though he looked completely calm, James could almost feel his anger

"What you four just did was cruel and inexcusable," he said, his voice still quiet and even.

"We only did it because-" Sirius began, but Dumbledore interrupted him sharply.

"I'm perfectly aware of _why_ you did it, Sirius."

"You are?" said James in surprise. Dumbledore turned his calmly furious gaze to him.

"Yes, I am," he said. "Do you think I have been unaware of Professor Pittiman's attitude during these past few months?" James's mouth dropped open slightly in surprise; he _had_ assumed that the Headmaster was ignorant of the situation. "Furthermore," continued Dumbledore, and the coldness in his voice made James want to scoot his chair back several feet, "do you believe that I have been doing nothing about it? That I have been content to merely leave the situation unresolved? To stand back and watch a student suffer unfairly?"

James was no longer holding in laughter. He felt a tiny inkling of shame, not because he had humiliated Pettiman, but because he had doubted Dumbledore, whom he had always liked and respected very much.

"Sir," Remus began, "We didn't think that you… I mean, we didn't…"

"It wasn't that we didn't trust you," James jumped in, desperate to make Dumbledore understand. "It's just that she was _so_ horrible! You didn't see—"

"Actually, I _did_ see, James," interrupted Dumbledore shortly, and James fell silent again.

"I'll speak to Professor McGonagall concerning your punishments," the Headmaster continued after a momentary pause, "and I'll write to your parents. In the meantime, one more step out of line and I will have no choice but to suspend you." With that, he dismissed them.

The walk back to Gryffindor tower was a strange one. James couldn't make himself actually feel sorry for what he had done, but Dumbledore's reaction took all the joy out of the victory.

"What do you suppose Dumbledore has been doing about it?" Peter asked thoughtfully, breaking the silence.

"No idea," said Sirius, "but whatever it was, it wasn't working."

His best friend looked downright cheerful; he was clearly less disturbed by Dumbledore's lecture than James was. And James couldn't deny that Sirius had a good point – Dumbledore's plan _wasn't_ working. They turned the corner and saw a chicken wandering down the corridor, and James smirked as the sense of triumph revived itself.

--------

_Author's Note:_

_My beta is on vacation (which is particularly sad because she gave me some of the ideas for this chapter). Hopefully this chapter is not riddled with typos and American slang; I _did_ proofread it like 80 times._

_And as always, please review._


	9. Sneaking

The boys were in high spirits when they returned from Dumbledore's office. The Headmaster's lecture seemed far more distant and unimportant when James wasn't actually looking at the anger on his face.

Word of Pittiman and the chickens had spread throughout the school within minutes and scattered applause broke out in the common room when the boys arrived, but the impressed amusement on the faces of their fellow Gryffindors was mixed with confusion. It occurred to James for the first time that their classmates must have found the prank a little odd; though not exceptionally popular, Pittiman was not exceptionally hated either. People wouldn't have thought twice about it if they had used the spell on Snape or one of his Slytherin friends, but they had risked pulling it on a _teacher_. People couldn't help but notice and wonder.

The same thought must have occurred to Sirius, because he hastily said, "Let's just head straight for dormitory."

James spotted Lily Evens frowning at them disapprovingly from the table where she sat with her friends, and he couldn't help but notice that Remus was looking pointedly away from her. He suddenly remembered her reaction to the werewolf lesson and resisted the urge to smack her in the back of the head as they passed.

"What snacks do we have left?" asked Remus once they had gotten into the room. Their meeting with the Headmaster had caused them to miss dinner.

James walked over to the large basket where they kept the food they nicked from the kitchen and from Honeydukes. The basket, like much of the food, was courtesy of the house elves. "Plenty," he said, pulling the basket into the middle of the room.

"What do you supposed our punishment will be?" Sirius mused, combing through the food until he found some Chocolate Frogs.

"If he was going to expel us, he would have done it right away," said Remus with a shrug. "Do we have any butterbeer left?"

"Only one," James reported, quickly snatching it out of the basket and opening it. "Too bad."

"You prat," said Remus, laughing even as he tried to grab it from James. James scooted a few feet away and took a slow drink from the bottle.

"Mmm," he said with exaggerated enjoyment. "This is the best butterbeer I've ever had."

Remus threw his pillow at him, almost spilling the drink.

"Careful there," said Sirius, his mouth twitching into an almost-smirk. "His unstable hormones might kick in and intensify that already violence-prone personality."

Everyone, including Sirius, froze and waited. They had no idea how Remus would react to teasing about the day's lesson. James was terrified that Sirius had crossed the line; although, he admitted to himself, at least then they would know where the line was. He even kind of suspected that Sirius might be pushing Remus on purpose for that exact reason.

For only a second, Remus stared at Sirius, stricken and surprised. Then he grabbed the nearest piece of candy and chucked it at Sirius in an unmistakably playful manner, and they all laughed again, relief combining with amusement.

As they celebrated their victory, James couldn't quite ignore the uneasy feeling, the thought that had been nagging at the back of his mind since the end of class. He had somehow thought that once they got revenge on Pittiman, everything would be all better again, that no one would ever again care that Remus was a werewolf. But it _wouldn't_ be all better, he now realized. It was just like Remus had said: he would always have to deal with this. And there would always be people who could never look at werewolves as real people; Evans's comment had shown that.

James made up his mind very abruptly. Without the distraction of plotting revenge, he could now put into place the plan that had been forming in his mind for months without him really meaning for it to.

"Where are you going?" Peter asked as James jumped to his feet and headed to his trunk.

"Are we going out?" Sirius exclaimed in surprise, watching James pull out his cloak. "Excellent!"

"I really don't think we should risk getting in any more trouble today," said Remus hesitantly.

"We're not going 'out,'" replied James. He headed for the door. "In fact,_we're_ not going anywhere."

"Then where are_you_ going?" Sirius asked, rolling his eyes.

"The library."

Before the door swung all the way shut behind him, he heard Sirius say, "Did he just say he's going to the _library_?"

----------

It was far easier to move through the castle alone than it was in a group of four, so James was able to move pretty quickly. He was so focused on his destination that he might not have even noticed McGonagall's voice if she hadn't said his name. It was coming from her office down the corridor, her voice rising and falling so that he couldn't hear exactly what she was saying. James hesitated only a minute, then crept closer and stationed himself just outside. The door was slightly ajar, but he all he could see through the crack was a piece of wall.

"I can't. Not without the approval of the board of governors," he heard Dumbledore's voice say. "Besides, it would create quite a scandal to dismiss a teacher in the middle of the term. People would ask questions, and the last thing we want to do is draw attention to the issue."

McGonagall sighed resignedly and a moment of silence followed. "I suppose we _do_ have to punish them," she said finally. James was both surprised and pleased to hear that she didn't sound very happy about the idea.

"Of course," said Dumbledore mildly. "They hexed a teacher."

"They're not malicious boys," said McGonagall a bit defensively. "And they've been good friends to Mr. Lupin."

"Yes," said Dumbledore, and James heard a smile in his voice. "Remus has been very fortunate. And you're right," he added abruptly, his voice turning colder with anger and frustration. "They're _not_ malicious. That's part of what makes this so tragic."

There was a pause before McGonagall replied, "I understand."

There was the distinct sound of a chair scraping on the floor, followed by Dumbledore saying, "Thank you for the tea, Minerva," and James hurried away before the Headmaster could leave the office.

----------

James didn't accomplish much at the library that night. He was too busy trying to sort out what he had heard Dumbledore say about them not being malicious and how that made the whole thing so tragic. It didn't make much sense to him. Distracted, he roamed the rows of books for several minutes, but he couldn't even focus enough to select a volume to look through. Before long he gave up and headed back to Gryffindor Tower, promising himself that he would come back the next night when he was more clear-minded.

Unfortunately, he spent the following night in detention, as well as the night after that, and several of the nights after _that_. The worst part was that McGonagall gave them separate detentions. She seemed to know that the punishment was far worse if they weren't even allowed to suffer it together.

It was several weeks before James had the chance to return to the library, once again using his cloak to sneak into it late at night. He thought it would be wisest to do this particular research without the interference of other students or staff. After a few minutes of browsing he settled down with a sizeable stack of books about Transfiguration, magical animals and Magical Law. He was determined to find answers, even if it took him all night.

That was a very noble and simple sounding goal, but by three thirty James was realizing that it wasn't a particularly realistic one. While many texts made reference to Anamagi, none of them offered the slightest bit of insight into actually _becoming_ one. Shutting _Transfigure This!_ and yawning widely, he admitted defeat for the night. He was too tired to keep looking, and even if he found something there was a good chance that his exhausted brain wouldn't even recognize its importance.

He crept back into the dormitory as quietly as he could, trying not to wake his friends. They had been extremely confused by his announcement that he was going to the library again, especially since he had failed to ever give them an explanation for his previous trip.

"James?"

_Damn_, he thought to himself. "Yeah, Peter?"

"Are you just getting back?" Peter stuck a sleepy head through the hangings on his bed to look at him.

"Yeah." He wasn't sure what else to say.

"You spent the whole night in the library?" He waited for a moment for James to answer, then added incredulously, "_Why_?"

James sighed as he climbed into bed. "Just working on some stuff," he said.

"You never do homework." Peter sounded baffled.

"Not homework," explained James, and he couldn't help himself from smiling as he added, "I'm working on a plan."

"A plan?" Peter repeated, an edge of excitement creeping into his voice. "What kind of plan?"

"Still working out the details." James grinned mischievously at his friend, even though he knew Peter couldn't see him in the dark. "But I don't want to spoil it by talking about it before it's all figured out."

"Well, if you're spending hours in the _library _working on it," said Peter, "it must be a really great plan."

----------

_Author's Note:_

_Greetings, my little gerbils. I realize that there was quite a delay in posting this chapter. My beta was out of town, and then I was out of town. In fact, the only reason that this is getting posted now is because I already had it written and was only waiting on the edits. It might be a while before the next chapter is written and posted. I was forced to go out of town for a family emergency last week. Between funeral planning and sorting through inheritance stuff, I obviously did not get much writing done. I also didn't get much work or homework done, so I'm going to be playing _frantic_ catch-up for the next couple of weeks. It might well be two or three or even four weeks before I get another chapter up. There's a chance it might not even be until after Thanksgiving. All that being said, another chapter _is_ coming. Be patient with me, and I promise that the next installment will indeed come._

_You know what might cheer me up? Reviews. :)  
_


	10. Peter's Brilliant Idea

"I wonder what the rest of the giant squid looks like?" Sirius pondered aloud, staring at the tentacle barely visible above the surface of the lake. Spring had come early, and Sirius, James and Remus were hanging out under their favorite tree.

"Dive in and see," said Remus, just a bit edgily. Sirius looked over in surprise, then comprehension dawned on his face.

"Come on, Moony," he said, grabbing the top book off of the sizable stack sitting next to Remus. "Exams are _weeks_ away! You can't possibly be worrying about them already!"

Remus rolled his eyes at him and grabbed the book back. "I'm not worrying," he said. "I'm preparing. Where's Peter, anyway? We're supposed to be studying together."

"Where _is_ Peter?" James echoed, realizing for the first time how long his friend had been gone; he had run inside to grab his books nearly an hour ago.

"I'll just work on Ancient Runes until he gets here," said Remus, setting down his book and reaching for another one. His eyes briefly focused beyond James and he forced a smile and waved. James turned around to see Lily Evans waving back.

"Why are you friends with her, Moony?" he asked, scowling. He still hadn't forgiven her for her werewolf comment, and judging by the stiffness in Remus's smile, he hadn't forgotten either. "She's absolutely horrible. I can't stand her."

"Yes," said Remus. "So you've mentioned." The stiff smile disappeared, and an almost-smirk replaced it.

"What?" James demanded.

"What what?" echoed Remus innocently, not looking at him.

"What are you smirking about?" The smile grew.

"I'm not smirking," said Remus, and he disappeared behind his book.

James looked over at Sirius who merely shrugged, appearing just as confused as James felt. He didn't have the opportunity to try to drag the truth out of Remus, however, because at that moment Peter came into view, sprinting full speed from the castle.

"Guess what?" he gasped, plopping down next to them, grinning madly. "I was heading up to get my books," he continued before anyone could answer, "and I was walking past the staff room-"

"The staff room isn't on the way to Gryffindor Tower," interrupted Sirius, but Peter waved him off.

"And I heard Slughorn and McGonagall talking, and they were talking about what a hard time Dumbledore is having finding a new Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher!" He beamed at the delivery of this good news, hardly able to contain his happiness.

"Pittiman's leaving?" Sirius cried. "Really?"

"Well, did anyone really expect her to stay?" said Remus. "I mean, she farted chickens! Dumbledore's lucky she didn't quit right then." Despite his logical words, Remus looked just as pleased as his friends.

"But really," said Sirius a few minutes later once everyone's excitement had mellowed, "the staff room _isn't_ on the way to Gryffindor Tower."

Peter turned pink and ignored him.

----------

"No, honest!" exclaimed Sirius. "It was right here! Next to that suit of armour!"

James followed Sirius's gesture to the suit of armour a few feet away; it was completely indistinguishable from every other suit of armour in the castle. "Was it?" he asked, snickering slightly and readjusting the cloak, trying to make it cover all four sets of feet.

"Yes," insisted Sirius stubbornly, "it _was_."

"Well, it might have been," said Remus from the back of the group, "but there certainly doesn't appear to be a hidden tunnel there _now_, does there?" Sirius turned around to scowl at him.

"Were there any other landmarks?" James asked, feeling a little bit sorry for his friend. Sirius's scowl disappeared as he thought.

"Remember that portrait of the one-eyed unicorn that we passed a couple of weeks ago?"

"I'm not likely to forget it," said Remus, making a face. "That picture is _creepy_."

"I'm pretty sure I passed it on my way here," Sirius continued, "but to be honest, I can't remember where _that_ is either."

James might have been more tempted to mock him, but he also couldn't remember where they had spotted the picture. That particular outing had been long, and they had gotten lost more than once.

"Second floor," said Peter after a moment. "East side."

"Second floor?" repeated Sirius, surprised.

"_East side_?" echoed Remus, sounding absolutely stunned. "Peter, _I _don't know cardinal directions inside the castle!"

"What are cardinal directions?" Peter asked blankly, stuffing something into his pocket.

"North, south, east, west. What's in your pocket?" demanded Sirius.

"Pocket? What?" Peter asked, poorly feigning ignorance. Sirius raised his eyebrows. "Nothing," he said hastily, pushing it even deeper into his pocket.

"Come on, Peter," said Sirius, a touch of exasperation in his voice. "I can't _take_ it from you. That would require me to stick my hand in your pocket, which is absolutely not going to happen.

"Accio thing."

A crumpled piece of paper flew out of Peter's pocket and into Remus's hand; Remus looked slightly surprised. "I didn't really expect that to work," he said. "Accio _thing_?"

"Give it back," said Peter, sounding genuinely anxious now instead of merely uncomfortable. "It's nothing, really!"

James shuffled around so he could look over Remus's shoulder as he unrumpled the parchment.

"Blimey, Peter!" breathed Sirius as he held his lit wand up to get a better look. "It's a _map_!"

"Yeah, well," said Peter, squirming. "After I got lost that once when I went to get my books, I felt really stupid, so I started making a map. You know, just so I wouldn't get lost as much."

"This is incredible," said James in awe; and it really was. Peter had accomplished a stunning amount in just a couple of short weeks. As he studied Peter's detailed drawing,

he appreciated for the first time how much of the castle they had covered in their midnight escapades.

"You like it?" Peter sounded surprised.

"Like it?" said Sirius. "It's brilliant!"

"Really?" James smiled at the note of pride in Peter's voice; it wasn't something he heard often.

"Really," said Remus.

Without actually saying anything, they all agreed to abandon the search for Sirius's new secret tunnel, at least temporarily. Back in their dormitory, they laid the map out on the floor so they could admire it properly.

"I've added all the basics, of course," said Peter, eager to talk about the map now that it had received his friends' approval. "All the stuff to and from classes. And a lot of the stuff we've covered at night. I know I got all the ones that we've been to in the last couple of weeks, and I added some stuff from memory, but I'm not sure it's right."

"It looks good so far," mused James, his eyes scanning over the map. "But there's so much here, it would take a little while to check all of it."

"We could sell copies of this and make a fortune," said Sirius, finally tearing himself away from the map and sitting back against his bed.

"Yes, but then everyone would know about the secret passageways," said James, "and Dumbledore would probably find out and close them up."

"True," acknowledged Sirius with a slight pout.

"And besides, it would show everyone that there's a passage underneath the Whomping Willow," said Remus.

"All right," Sirius admitted grudgingly. "It just seems like a shame that no one will ever see it but us."

James didn't say so out loud, but he agreed. He loved the forbidden treks around the castle, and he suddenly felt a little bit sorry for all of his fellow students who didn't have an invisibility cloak and who didn't know what it was like to wander the empty hallways of Hogwarts at night.


	11. In the Office

As if to make up for the unpleasantness of the autumn term, the spring term was turning out to be very enjoyable. The weather stayed warm, Gryffindor slaughtered Slytherin in Quidditch, and the boys were all getting fair grades in Defense Against the Dark Arts again. James suspected that Dumbledore or McGonagall, not Pittiman, was now grading their essays. James still felt slightly uncomfortable every time he saw the Headmaster, and had gotten very good at not making eye contact with him.

For a while, it was easy to forget any unpleasantness in the world. He pretended not to notice that the name Voldemort was being whispered more and more. It wasn't difficult to pretend; he was incredibly busy. Whereas the nighttime wanderings around the castle had always been exciting and fun, the creation of a map took the sense of adventure to a new level. Before, most of their outings were to the kitchens or to Honeydukes, retracing paths they were already familiar with. Now they had a much bigger goal than sneaking food: they were going to map the entire castle.

"The _entire_ castle?" asked Peter skeptically when Sirius first proposed the mission.

"Sure," said Sirius. "Why not? We have the cloak! We can go out every night!"

"First of all," said Remus around an impressive mouthful of the chicken they had brought him instead of the customary plate of sandwiches, "we_cannot _go out every night. We're in school, remember? We have homework."

All three of them rolled their eyes.

"Fine," said Sirius. "Weekends, and three nights during the week."

"One night during the week."

"_Moony_!" he cried in exasperation. "Do you have any idea what an accomplishment this would be? Mapping _all_ of Hogwarts?"

"I'm pretty sure no one has ever done it before," agreed James.

But Remus wasn't giving in. "One night," he repeated stubbornly.

"Compromise," suggested James. "Two nights."

Remus scowled. "For now," he agreed reluctantly. "But once we get closer to exams, it's down to one night. Agreed?"

Sirius didn't look happy, but he nodded. "Killjoy," he muttered under his breath.

"What's second of all?" Peter asked, and everyone looked at him in confusion. "You said first of all," he reminded Remus. "So what's second of all?"

"Oh yeah!" the scowl instantly faded from his face. "Second of all, we need a plan. Some kind of method. The castle is too huge to just wander aimlessly and expect to find everything."

They crowded around the map on the floor and began discussing possible plans of attack, but James's mind was somewhere else. He'd been spending two or three nights a week in the library, still trying to find information about Animagi. If they were going to be out every other night exploring, he'd never get a full night's sleep.

He had made very little headway in his research, and he was beginning to get discouraged. And Remus was right; they were in school. Classes weren't difficult for James, but even he would have difficulty maintaining his grades if he went the rest of the term only getting a couple of hours of sleep every night and never doing his homework. For the first time, he considered giving up. After all, he hadn't made any promises to Remus. He wouldn't be disappointing anyone.

Except, of course, himself. And he'd be failing Remus whether Remus knew it or not. Deep down, James knew that the Animagi idea was brilliant. Remus didn't deserve the life he'd got. In fact, it was possible that he deserved it less than anyone he knew.

"James?"

He blinked, returning to the conversation.

"Sorry. What?" he asked casually, trying to laugh at himself.

"You were staring at me," said Remus bemusedly.

It was true, he realized. As he had been thinking about his friend, his gaze had automatically wandered to Remus's face. Best to play dumb, he decided, though it wasn't a role he played especially well.

"I wasn't staring at you. I was just staring into space."

"The space where I'm sitting."

"I was just thinking," James grumbled. "I wasn't staring at anything! Honestly, can't a bloke just let his mind wander sometimes?"

The scheming continued, but more than once James caught Remus giving him a skeptical and confused glance.

----------

"If McGonagall catches us, we'll all be in detention until we die of natural causes," Remus said. He was looking extremely nervous.

"McGonagall likes us," argued Sirius. "She'll be lenient."

"Lenient? Are you mental?" Remus muttered incredulously, shaking his head in disbelief as he perused the professor's bookshelves, looking for anything unusual.

They had all agreed that their search of the castle must be thorough. They would examine every hallway, room and closet for secret passages or rooms. It was Sirius who first insisted that this included the teachers' offices, and no one argued with him since they had agreed only minutes earlier that no part of the castle could go unsearched. Still, no prank had ever made James quite this nervous. Breaking into a professor's office was a line they'd never crossed before. After the incident with Pittiman, James was pretty sure that neither McGonagall nor Dumbledore would be very understanding if they got caught.

"She won't catch us," Sirius assured Remus confidently from the other side of the office. "It's the middle of the night. She's asleep."

"Actually, it's ten," said Peter. "Not exactly the middle of the night."

"Whatever," said Sirius, waving him off. "Check her desk."

Remus snorted. "I'm not checking her desk," he said. "Do you think I'm an idiot? I don't even want to think about what would happen to a student if McGonagall caught them going through her desk. Bad enough we're in her office."

"Oh, honestly," said Sirius. "You're a Gryffindor, Moony!"

"That means I'm brave," said Remus. "Not stupid."

"James?" Sirius turned to him and raised his eyebrows.

James hesitated. On one hand, he took great pride in his courage. He liked proving he was worthy to be in Gryffindor. On the other hand, Remus had a point. He didn't want McGonagall to kill him.

"I dare you." Sirius grinned at him.

"Why don't _you_ do it, if you want her desk searched so badly?" asked Remus, but it was too late. The challenge had already been uttered, and James felt his adrenaline flowing.

"Okay," he said, hoping he didn't look nervous. "I'll do it."

"Just to make sure I understand," said Peter uncertainly. "You're looking for a secret passage in her _desk_?"

Before James or Sirius could come up with a smart response to Peter's very logical point, the unthinkable happened. The door began to rattle; someone was unlocking it from the other side.

"Someone's coming in!" Peter yelped, but the other boys were already in motion.

"Quick! Under the cloak!" Sirius grabbed Peter's arm and they all sprinted to the corner where the cloak sat on the floor. They barely managed to pull it over their heads, their feet still showing when the door opened. McGonagall entered, leading Severus Snape. He looked even more sullen than usual.

"Have a seat, Mister Snape," said McGonagall.

The boys watched as McGonagall put Snape to work; he was to write "I will not duel in the halls" two hundred times.

"Two hundred?" Sirius muttered. "We always have to do at least three hundred!" Remus answered by stomping on his foot to shut him up.

Time seemed to drag as they stood there under the cloak. It was always nice to see Snape suffer, but the only thing more boring than doing lines was watching someone else do lines. James's leg was beginning to fall asleep.

Their lucky break didn't come until about forty-five minutes later, when McGonagall excused herself for a few minutes.

"Where's she going?" Peter muttered.

"Probably the loo," responded Sirius. They were whispering so quietly that James could barely hear them even though they were only a foot away.

"Let's go," said Remus. "Now's our best chance. Maybe he won't notice us."

But they hadn't been quite quiet enough. Snape was already frowning in their general direction, his eyes scanning back and forth.

"Hello?" he said tentatively, half-standing. "Is someone there?"

James felt Sirius elbow him and he looked to see his best friend grinning widely, mischief in his eyes.

"_No_!" Remus growled, spotting Sirius's look, but Sirius ignored him. He flicked his wand and murmured under his breath. The four boys stood there waiting, completely silent, but nothing happened. Snape sat back down slowly, apparently deciding he had imagined the noise. He turned back to his lines.

At Remus's coaxing, the group began edging its way toward the door. James wasn't sure exactly what Remus's plan was, because there was no way to get out without Snape noticing _something_; the door was shut and they were going to have to open it. They never got a chance to face that problem however; Snape suddenly sat up very straight, his pale face turning red, his eyes gazing at his parchment in baffled horror.

"What the--?" he began furiously, leaping to his feet and looking around frantically. Sirius tried to stifle a snort, but didn't quite succeed. "I _know_ someone is in here!" Snape snarled. He stretched out his hands, groping around the room, and James barely ducked in time to avoid getting poked in the eye.

While he was bent over, he caught sight of Snape's paper and realized what Sirius's spell had done. Instead of "I will not duel in the halls," each line had been changed to "I will not wear witches' underwear."

James laughed before he could stop himself; unfortunately, this gave away their position, and this time he didn't duck fast enough. Snape's arm made contact with his head, sending him sprawling on the floor, completely visible.

He heard Sirius swear, but he had no idea where the voice had come from. It was strange, being on the outside of the cloak, knowing his friends were in the room but unable to see them.

"Potter!" the shock and outrage on Snape's face would have been comical if James hadn't been so terrified of getting caught. For a moment, he thought Snape was going to attack him; his face was still flushed with anger and embarrassment and his hands were balled into fists. Instead, Snape ran for the door. James almost felt relieved for a second before he realized what was going on: Snape wasn't running away from him. He was running to McGonagall. He was going to tell her that James had snuck into her office.

He clambered to his feet and ran after him, reaching Snape just as he reached the door.

"Professor!" Snape screamed into the hallway as the door swung open. "Professor, Potter—"

But James grabbed the back of his robes and pulled him back into the room, and the door swung shut again before Snape could yell anything else.

"Get off of me, Potter!" he snarled, pushing James away. James let go willingly and ran for the door again. The sooner he got out of there, the better. Unfortunately, Snape wasn't going to let him get away so easily. What followed was a ridiculous muggle duel, filled with pushing and shoving and hair-pulling as both boys tried to get to the door first while holding the other back. Snape's parchment got torn and more than a few things got knocked off of McGonagall's desk in the process. Finally a hex from out of nowhere knocked Snape off of his feet, and James was able to escape.

His friends threw the cloak over him just before he reached the door. Remus still had his wand trained on Snape; apparently he was the one who had thrown the hex. The four of them slipped into the hallway, but they'd only gone a few feet when they spotted McGonagall heading their direction. They slowed down, held their breath as she passed them, and then ran as fast as the cloak permitted them.

They didn't stop running and they didn't take the cloak off until they were in their dormitory. They collapsed on the floor, panting and clutching their sides.

"Put – cloak – away," Remus gasped. "McGonagall – coming."

James threw open his trunk and jammed the cloak as far down as he could make it go, then slammed it shut again.

"Now," said Remus, "pillow fight."

No one had enough breath to answer; they just all looked at him like he was crazy.

"Out of breath," said Remus. "Sweaty. Pillow fight."

Sirius had just enough breath in him to choke out a laugh.

"You're bloody brilliant, Moony," he said, and grabbed his pillow.

Attempting to have a pillow fight when no one can really stand up or breathe is not easy, and soon they were all laughing at each other's pathetic attempts. Finally everyone ganged up on James, since he was the one who'd fallen down in the first place.

When McGonagall entered the room five minutes later, looking extremely angry, all she found was four laughing boys beating each other up with pillows and seeming entirely innocent.

----------

If Snape had hated James before, it was nothing compared to how much he hated him now. He didn't know how James had escaped without being seen by McGonagall and it infuriated him. But it wasn't just that James escaped punishment; McGonagall was livid at Snape for trashing her office, and gave him extra homework for the next two weeks on top of his detentions. As icing on the cake, word had somehow gotten around that Snape wore girl's underwear.

All the same, Remus made them swear that they wouldn't search any more professors' offices. No one argued with him.

----------

_Author's Note: _

_Sorry about the delay, but my "real" writing was going well, and that bumps fanfiction to the backburner. _

_I was thinking it would be fun to try writing a challenge, but I have no idea how the whole "challenge" thing works. Where does one even find challenges? _


	12. The Last Game

"It won't matter," Michael Kirke said, "considering how badly we beat Ravenclaw."

"But the Slytherin game was close," Eleanor Peakes insisted. "And Hufflepuff killed _both_ of them."

It wasn't a new argument. Actually, it was pretty much all that the Gryffindor Quidditch team had talked about, ever since Hufflepuff had beat Ravenclaw two hundred and forty to fifty. Gryffindor and Hufflepuff were now tied for the Quidditch Cup. It all hinged on the next game.

James was concerned about the match – extremely concerned, as a matter of fact – but he was trying not to think about it right then. He was trying to be a good friend. Still, it was very hard to focus on something as boring as studying when he could hear a very important Quidditch conversation taking place only a few feet away.

"What else, Peter?" he asked patiently.

"Um," said Peter, scrunching his face in concentration. "Knotgrass?" James nodded. "Porcupine quills?"

James rolled his eyes. "No. No porcupine quills. That would probably make the potion explode."

"Cool," said Sirius, who was staring into space and twirling his wand idly through his fingers. Remus, who was busy reading his Potions textbook, didn't even waste a reproving glance at him.

"Come on, Peter. We've been over this a million times." It took all of his self-control to keep the exasperation out of his voice. Studying for exams was not his favorite activity. Not when there was a Qudditch match to practise for, a map to perfect, and an Animagus spell to find. It was made worse by the fact that James didn't really think he needed to study. However, he had promised not to neglect his friends for Quidditch, and he knew that Peter needed to study. McGonagall had all but promised that Polyjuice Potion would come up on the exam.

"How many am I forgetting?" asked Peter.

"Two."

"Leeches?" James nodded again.

"Good. One more. Come on, Peter, this one is obvious!"

As Peter was thinking, James saw a sudden motion as Michael Kirke leapt to his feet and shot away from the table where he had been sitting. He nearly knocked James over as he rushed past him.

"Oof!" James grunted as Michael's elbow hit him between the shoulder blades. "Hey, watch it, Mike!" he called out, but Michael didn't seem to even hear him. James stifled a laugh as he saw what the hurry was.

"Hey, Aurora," he heard Michael say casually as he skidded to a stop in front of Aurora Sawbridge.

"Oh! Something from the person you want to turn into!" exclaimed Peter triumphantly, drawing James back into the conversation.

"Right," said James, closing the book with relief. Surely Remus would agree that they had done enough studying for the evening. It felt like they'd been going at it for hours.

"You done?" Eleanor asked, plopping into the seat next to him. "Good," she said before James could respond. "I want to talk about strategy for the Hufflepuff game. I _was_ talking to Michael," she said, glaring across the room, "but he got – er – distracted."

James snickered. "I saw. He nearly knocked the wind out of me getting over there." His teammate had all but stalked the exceptionally beautiful fifth-year redhead for the past few weeks. He'd actually gotten in trouble twice for being late to practice because he was busy talking to her.

"Poor guy," said Eleanor, making a face that was half pitying, half disgusted. "She's going to chop him to pieces, I bet."

"I dunno," said James, leaning back in his chair. "She seems interested."

"Who seems interested in who?" a voice asked from behind him, and he groaned inwardly.

"Go away, Evans." He had said the words so many times that they came automatically now.

"We're just curious," Florence Flume said with a sniff. The two girls were sitting behind them, apparently eavesdropping.

Evans turned pointedly to Eleanor, ignoring James. "Who's interested in who?"

"You're not curious. You're nosy," James interrupted before Eleanor could speak. "Go away."

"Oooh!" Florence exclaimed, following Eleanor's gaze to Michael and Aurora. "Are they going out?"

Next to James, Sirius banged his head on the table. "We've been invaded by girls," he muttered into his pile of unopened textbooks.

"We tolerate all of your girlfriends," Remus said, a half-smile playing on his lips. "It's only fair that we tolerate all of James's too."

James turned pink and glared at him, but Remus's comment did the trick. Florence and Evans resumed their own conversation, rather huffily.

"Charming friends," said Eleanor, looking amused. "Anyway, back to business: Hufflepuff."

"So what did your mum have to say?" Peter asked. James had just tucked the letter into his bag trying to look normal, but apparently he wasn't doing a great job of it. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah," said James. "Everything's fine."

It wasn't exactly a lie. The letter had been normal in most ways. Little anecdotes about the past week, some stories about work, and a few tidbits of news about some family friends. Nothing at all out of the ordinary, except for the postscript.

_P.S. If you'd like, you may invite Peter and Remus to stay the whole summer this year. Sirius is obviously welcome too, but since he's a pureblood, he might not think it necessary. It's all nonsense, of course, this pureblood mania that's going around right now. The whole idea that some are worthier than others is absolutely appalling. Still, we want your friends to be safe. I'm sure they'll be fine regardless, but I'm a mother, and mothers worry. We'd love to have them if they want to come._

There had been whisperings and murmurings of Voldemort, but no real solid news since James had returned to school. His letters from home hadn't mentioned him at all. Even in this letter, Voldemort wasn't mentioned by name, but James was able to read the not-too-subtle message between the lines. He would invite Peter and Remus; he just needed to figure out a way to do it that wouldn't scare them.

"But we're _better_ than Hufflepuff!"

The same conversation. Again. James thought his head was going to explode. It was only two days until the game, and James was almost sick with nerves. _The Quidditch Cup_. How cool would that be?

"We can't be overconfident! That could cost us the match!"

"We _aren't_ overconfident," Susan Bagshot said. "Calm down, Eleanor. It's just that we _are_ the better team – we need to go into this knowing we can win!"

Beside James, Eleanor let out a groan that could mean anything from frustration to despair to fear. It was hard to tell. James patted her comfortingly on the back, but didn't say anything. He was feeling the same way he had before the first match. He was just the rookie, the one who didn't know what he was doing.

It was only after a long practice and nearly an hour of anxious arguing that the team finally began to make their way back to the castle. James walked with Michael and Evan Cauldwell, one of the team's Beaters. They spent the first part of the trek rehashing the arguments in a half-heartedly exhausted sort of way before Evan steered the conversation in a slightly different direction.

"You going to be able to keep your head in the game, Kirke?" he asked. His tone was curious and slightly worried, but not malicious.

"What do you mean?" Michael asked, blushing a little bit.

"I mean, are you going to be thinking about the game, or are you going to be thinking about showing off for your girlfriend?" Evan grinned and Michael laughed.

"She's not my girlfriend," he said, almost as an afterthought.

Evan shrugged. "Close enough."

"What about you?" Michael asked. James suspected he was trying to direct the conversation away from himself. It took him a moment to realize that Michael was speaking to him, not Evan.

"What? Me?" he said, startled. "I don't have a girlfriend."

To his surprise, his teammates smirked, as though they didn't believe him. But he _didn't _have a girlfriend! He'd had exactly one girlfriend before: a disaster named Emma Dodderidge. And that had been second year. He'd pretty much avoided girls this year, mostly because he just didn't have time for them.

Michael and Evan were still smirking. James was very confused.

One hundred and seventy to twenty. A four hour game, and only four goals scored. Incredible defense on both sides. As close as a Quidditch game could possibly be, really. A perfect tie before the Snitch was caught.

One hundred and seventy to twenty.

And Gryffindor lost.

"We had a good season," Michael said dully, without any conviction. The team was sitting around a table in the nearly-empty common room; the other Gryffindors were giving the depressed team their space. They'd been sitting there for nearly two hours, hardly talking. No one responded to Michael's comment.

James felt absolutely awful. They'd lost. He'd made a dozen shots, and Hufflepuff's Keeper had blocked every single one of them. The last game of the year, his first losing game, and he hadn't scored once.

He knew he should sneak out and go to the library; he'd been so busy practising for the game that he hadn't done any Animagus research in two weeks. But as his teammates drifted one at a time away from the table and off to bed, he just couldn't muster up the motivation.

"We'll win it next year," Eleanor said as they watched Susan walk away. "Cheer up."

"You're not exactly a ray of sunshine either," he told her darkly, and she shrugged, looking thoroughly miserable. James yawned and stood up, promising himself he'd go to the library tomorrow.

"Goodnight, Eleanor," he said, leaving her sitting alone at the table. He trudged upstairs, knowing he would spend most of the night awake, reliving his defeat.

_Author's Note: Uh... oops. Sorry guys. I know I kind of vanished. I have a long list of excuses, at least half of which are totally valid and acceptable. The good news is that time off can have a positive influence and provide some new perspective. I was able to come back to the story and rework the outline, and I feel much better about it now. Truth be told, one of the reasons I didn't make more of an effort to update before now was because I was frustrated and annoyed with the damn thing. Now I feel much better about it. :) Life continues to be crazy, of course, but hopefully I'll be able to get the next update up a little faster this time._

_Thank you to my beta, confusedknight, and thank you to everyone who cared enough to harass me for an update._


	13. Alas

Well, my little pets, it has been a lovely ride

Well, my little pets, it has been a lovely ride. I've loved writing stories about the Marauders. They were, and continue to be, my favorite characters in the entire realm of fiction. I love their friendships, and I love how they change as individuals and as a group. My original intention with the "Year by Year" series was to demonstrate that change, from their first moments as friends all the way to James's death. I had some scenes planned out that I am truly, truly sorry I don't get to write. But all of that being said... I don't get to write them. I am done. My own book has officially consumed not only all of my writing time, but all of my creativity. My imagination has moved on from the world of Harry Potter. I could tack a silly, abrupt ending on this, but I just can't bring myself to do it.

So... thanks for all the support. Wish me luck with my "real" writing!


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